I’m a 27F Virgin and I think about sex a lot and I keep thinking I missing out on life because I haven’t had it yet. I want to have sex but I want it to be with someone I care about and who cares about me. I feel like people are made fun of for not having sex. I have been made fun of for not having sex and it hurts but I don’t just want to have sex with anybody. Part of me is scared that I’m going to be too old for sex and I’m wasting my young and prime years by remaining celibate.
10 comments
Care about as is loving or as in friendship+?
Depends on whether you consider bad sex worth having. Because if you’re just sleeping around for the heck of it, it’s almost certainly nothing but bad sex.
Definitely not. And I say that as someone who is completely different about my attitude towards sex.
But, the question is this. What are you doing to find that special one? And what’s your end point if you never find that person? I ask that because I have a friend like you that felt this way and around the time she was 35 she started collecting expensive show dogs and clearly planning a life of never having a partner.
No. You are not. You are making a choice that fits you. Sex complicates life in ways that you will find out soon enough.
Everyone’s walk through life is different. None are better than the other. When it comes to sex, preferences and relationships there is no such thing as “normal”. Don’t compare yourself to someone else. It will never end in anything good.
Personally, I would wait for someone you care about before losing your virginity. You might have deep emotions after and it will be good to know the person will stick around.
People that laugh or tease are rare but usually doing it from jealousy. I think a lot of people wished they had waited.
you only live once. there are no do overs. go have sex and enjoy your life. find out what you like. and dislike. be a whole person. grow up.
Quality sex is way better than a big quantity of bad sex.
Do not think that you’re wasting your life. Just because people around you are fucking doesn’t mean you’re gonna have to. Waiting for someone who you want give your virginity to will be more satisfying instead of giving it to a stranger and regret later. I know so many people who say regret losing their virginity to someone they didn’t love or want.
Almost certainly, yes you are. There’s one thing I can say that’s sort of in favor of your approach: sex feels the greatest when you do it with a lover (in the true sense of that word).
Rejecting premarital sex will least likely lead to disaster for you if you are asexual or demisexual. (Those are clinical terms.)
Sexual compatibility is crucial for a successful romance, especially a marriage, for most people. You can’t assess whether you’ll be sexually compatible with a prospective long term romantic partner unless you’re sexually experienced.
From my perspective as an old person, one of the most embittering things that could happen to a person — I’m grateful it didn’t happen to me — is to spend 10, 20, 40 years married to someone with whom sexual incompatibility is deep.
Rejecting premarital sex goes together with naive visions of romantic “purity”, especially that people that a single “eternal” romance will bring you more bliss than multiple romances. The notion that you should aspire to only ever have sex with one person is as silly as having only one friend, or only watching movies together with your spouse and kids.
This question is so hard to answer, because everyone is different.
If you’re someone who is so insistent on only having sex with “the one”, then likely you aren’t the type who can enjoy sex with someone who isn’t “the one”, no matter how attractive, patient, and attentive he is as a lover.
So…I guess you aren’t wasting your 20s if you are unable to enjoy sex in a less “committed” context anyway.