What have you been or felt shamed or pressured about?

16 comments

1. My virginity. When I was 18 (literally had just turned) all my friends had lost it a year or two before and would repeatedly make fun of me for not having done anything before. Around the same time I was really deep in my pill and alcohol addiction. I had made friends with another girl at work who was big into drinking and came home with her, she was older and her fiancé was A LOT older and her roommate (his friend) was in his forties. I drank A lot with them, one night i was left with just her roommate and he fed me drinks all night long. I woke up and learned I lost my virginity to him and instead of freaking out I was just happy it was over. I was so happy I wouldn’t have to hear about it any longer. There’s more to the story but now years later and sober, I can’t shake those days. I remember so so little about those days or even that night.

2. when im going to get married and have children

3. Having sex. I was treated like shit by someone when I was 17 and I developed a, “if men can go out and sleep with whoever they want, so can I” attitude. I spent maybe 6 years just sleeping around because I wanted to, I didn’t want a relationship. I used to get shamed for it all the time by friends, family, the men I slept with. I had one guy sleep with me one week and then point me out to his friends the next and shout, “there’s that sl*t I fucked last week”. Mate, I didn’t fuck myself. If I’m a sl•t, you’re a sl•t. It works both ways.

4. [removed]

5. My body count, a lot of people near me have called me a slut and that made me feel uncomfortable about my sex life

6. Being a virgin and marriage. The funny thing is it was engrained in me culturally to be one (a virgin) and now as an adult woman I’m hit with “when you get your husband”. I have dated or fucked but sure it’s get husband now. I’m not equipped for any of this

7. Having to fake it in bed, I mean why the fuck fo we bother? Because we do not want to upset a man and give him a reason to get angry or because we want it to end sooner rather than later. That’s awful.

8. 1) not wanting sex most of the time

   2) not wanting violent or kinky sex

   3) not wanting to drink anymore

   4) not wanting to shave my body hair

   5) having chronic illness

   6) being too much: too excitable, too loud, too passionate, too everything

   7) being independent

   8) being ‘needy’

   9) being insecure when being cheated on

   10) having an ‘accent’

9. Body count, personal time, life goals and money

10. I’ve just recently joined this app and guys have already started messaging me. Unfortunately they’ll talk and be nice and then ask for pictures, which I say no, I’m not doing that and then they shame me and try to guilt me into sending them, to which I block them.

11. Never having smoked, be it weed or tobacco. I just have zero interest in it yet have had so many people try to convince or pressure me into giving it a try since I was a teen.

12. I felt pressured to be religious and then shamed when I left.

    I also felt pressured to have a certain type of wedding. I didn’t have their kind of wedding in the end but I felt bad (not shamed) about it

13. Not wearing makeup. Just not being interested in a lot of traditionally female things, i.e not being feminine enough.

14. Not making enough money to move out of the apartment we’re in. We’re so sick of renting – do you think we really do it out of choice?

15. Not being “career oriented”

16. Sex. Not wanting to, wanting to, doing it this way or that way. Dressing a certain way for a date or not because I must want it or I’m a prude. Turning a nice guy down means I’m a bitch, not turning him down means I’m easy. I could go on and on