I (24F) have a friend (22M) who is very insistent on meeting up and hanging out. He’s more extroverted while I’m more introverted, so I prefer to just chat online to him and he wants to meet up more than what I’m comfortable with. I have hinted at this a few times. But that’s not the main issue.
The main issue comes from when he wants to next meet up. He wants to meet up next week, most likely on the 2nd May. That date doesn’t work for me due to mental health reasons. I’d rather avoid people that entire week but the 2nd May in particular is hard for me.
He’s the type of friend where we get along well and chat often about various things for hours. But he’s not the type of friend I can open up about personal stuff with. He’s very much the “happy joking friend”. But he’s also not the type of person I can just say no to. I need a reason to not meet up that seems believable but I don’t have any.
How do I tell him that meeting up that week won’t work without being mean?
2 comments
This is an opportunity to set a boundary and stick to it. Say that you can’t and don’t elaborate when he asks. Just tell him you aren’t gonna meet him that day and you don’t need to give him reason
It’s not mean to have some privacy. Tell him nicely, but firmly
Just tell em “hey turns out I can’t make our next hang out work on that date, when’s the next good time for you?”.
Don’t make it that hard for yourself, it’s not a “avoid talking about this” problem it’s a “reschedule” problem. Don’t treat it like a big deal and it won’t be. That also extends to your mental health stuff, if someone asks about it and you treat it like a big deal it will be but if you treat it like its not a big deal nobody else will.