My bf wants to try anal. Would it work if he just used a bunch of lube and put it in without any other prep from toys? My expectation is that if we go slow and uses enough lube, he can get it all the way in and then he can continue until he finishes. I’m honestly not expecting it to feel great. I know some women love anal, but I doubt I will my first time. I’d ideally not like it to hurt, but I’d be okay if it feels a little weird/uncomfortable. So if he uses enough lube and goes slow enough, will that be enough for the experience to be painless?
I know some people use dildos or plugs to prep, but we don’t have any of those and I honestly don’t want to buy any. Are they necessary for successful anal sex?
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My wife hated the toys and hated fingers but still wanted to try anal. So we used lube… and went *very slowly*. It worked very well.
unless hes like super thick yeah you should be good to go right in with lube. I didnt use toys at all before my first time. I guess he could finger you a bit first if you want to kinda get things ready. I lubed him up and just sorta grinded on the tip the first time till it just kinda popped in and that seemed to work good.
He has to go slow tho, you cant just ram it in balls deep right off the bat. js.
also forgot too add, if it hurts hes going too deep too fast or you didn’t use enough lube. Im tiny and my first guy was kinda thick and it didn’t hurt at all. it shouldnt hurt and people that say its normal dont know what normal is. it WILL feel kinda weird the first time or even uncomfortable because its a new sensation, but it shouldn’t feel PAINFUL.
If he’s not super big, it could work. I would advice you to buy a couple of buttplugs just in case, then it’s a lot easier, and it shouldn’t really hurt after. Just be sure to wash your rectum the first time, otherwise it might not be so pleasurable😂💩 And also, the first couple of times, if it doesn’t hurt, the penetration will feel kinda like you’re taking a poop… just try out some different positions with it, and then it will be amazing (hopefully), especially if you get fingered at the same time or use a vibrator
PATIENCE IS KEY!!! With or without lube, he needs to have patience.
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Massage the surface outer area for a long time to get all the muscles to relax, he can rub the head of his penis all around the area to get you turned on and relaxed. Have him spend A WHILE doing this. Once you feel relaxed/excited then he can start with just the tip, in and out in and out, once that feels comfortable he can insert a little more, still doing in and out slowly to keep EVERYTHING relaxed and well lubricated (this is actually a way better method than just using a ton of lube and making everything too slick). Have him continue with this gradual in and out progression, only inserting a little deeper when you invite him too, until it’s eventually all the way in (or as far in as feels good to you).
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Honestly toys/fingers/tongues don’t help me prepare at all, just patience, patience, patience. It’s not going to be crazy porn style a** f***ing on the first or even the 5th time. For me it is actually extremely intimate and romantic in the beginning because of how much patience and connection is required.
Lots of lube. When you think you have enough, use more. Since you’ve never done it use fingers and toys. You control the pace of this. It may require a few sessions to warm you up. When you’re comfortable with the toys maybe give him a try. But try to find a toy that matches his girth. Only use anal approved toys. It’s an embarrassing trip to the ER if you don’t. When he attempts it you set the pace. He needs to keep himself in check and let you handle things. A good way to do this is in cowgirl. Because you control his depth, not him.
Make sure you empty your bowels first.
Ehhh, I’d still use some toys or fingers to relax things. It’s a pretty drastic feeling shoving a cock in there without warm up
Nope. Ya need to clean that little place out a bit
I’m a man who’s introduced a few gf’s to anal in the way you envision, and it worked out. In retrospect, I think it’s better to add a warmup massage by fingering. Also in retrospect, it seems like a good idea for you to finger yourself.
Here are some specifics for the doing it the first time. First, it’s ignorant to advise, “use plenty of lube”, because not much lube is needed, and the biggest obstacle to penetration is getting the sphincter to relax. For sure, err on the side of more lube. For anal, use silicone based lube. The way to get the lube in is by sticking a lubed finger in and wiping all around the inside. Before inserting the finger, rub lube onto the skin around the opening.
For first time anal, I spend 5 to 10 minutes just inserting myself, with no back and forth. Then I take an intermission, then return for full fucking. Here’s how I do the first phase. I spread lube all over myself (having applied lube inside the rectum). I ease the head, just the head, and halt. After a while, I pull out. Repeat. Eventually, I insert a little farther. Again, then hold still, later pull all the way out. Once I insert all of myself, that’s when I take the intermission.
I’d recommend you to stretch using fingers (and lube) first before putting a whole dick inside, whether you do it or he. Unlike the vagina, the abuse doesn’t stretch by itself from arousal so you need to stretch it manually.
Avoid water based lubes due to the huge osmotic potential imbalance with the body that actually promotes irritation and STD transmission.
Use a good silicone based lube like Exxtreme Glide Silicone, Pjur Backdoor, Uberlube… and remember to lube:
1 – outside (easy)
2 – inside every single innermost fold of the anus (difficult)
3 – the penis/fingers/buttplug/dildo (often forgotten).
Take your time and enjoy the indirect stimulation of the g-spot to enhance your pleasure!
My wife doesn’t like toys in there and the times we’ve done that it just took a minute or two.
I’ve had painful and upsetting experiences in the past and had sworn off anal, until my current bf asked about it and I said yes. He was very focused on making sure I was ‘warmed up’ before hand; lots of kissing and touching, used his hands and made sure I came before even approaching my ass. Then we started PIV sex and he used his fingers in my ass and then we switched to PIA and slooowly moved forward with that. He was being encouraging the whole time, telling me I was doing a great job, and once we got it all the way in it was amazing.
So long story short, I recommend lots of foreplay, lube, patience, trust is very important and COMMUNICATION. If at all I started to feel a sting I told him and he added more lube and it was great.