How do you know when you outgrow someone and are no longer compatible?

11 comments

  2. I think the easiest tell for me is when your sense of humor doesn’t line up any more. If they are laughing at something that you think isn’t worth laughing at or is demeaning or stupid i think it’s a true sign that you aren’t on the same level any more.

    I think there are dumb jokes that can be funny that aren’t very smart, but when someone passes judgement that can really paint a picture for you.

  3. When you begin to dread hanging out with them

    When it goes from “I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE THEM!”

    To “Ugh I have to see them…” That’s when you know it’s over.

  6. You try talking about the future with them and realize they don’t really have any plans (or want to have any). For them the present is the final stop and they won’t support you furthering your career, studying, moving somewhere, changing other aspects of your life, etc.

  7. When you feel drained around them, when you feel bad during/after interacting, when the interactions feel stilted and forced

  8. I found myself in this situation with a long time friend.

    The symptom I noticed most was irritation. I would find myself irritated at the things she was saying. I was having a hard time even humoring her – especially in a group setting. I found myself wanting to talk to a different friend ABOUT her (I stopped myself!).

    I didn’t want to share with her like I used to.

    I have about 6 women (I’m mid-30’s) I FaceTime nearly every day (or they FT me). One of them used to be a regular Facetimer. I’ve known her for 15+ years. She’s never hurt me and I’ve never hurt her. No fight. But we just… stopped. Mutually at that.

    There is no apology needed or anything of the sort. But we both just… stopped communicating. We can be in a group setting peacefully. We can laugh together. I did invite her over to look at something (of shared mutual interest) a few weeks ago. It’s 100% good. But we are nothing more than fair-weather friends now. There is no more deep connection.

  9. When their personality doesn’t support the type of person you want to be anymore, or the type of person that motivates you going forward. Had a best friend in hs, but I became more adventurous over time and she got more scared of the world over time, so I kept having to justify my actions to her.

  10. When the things that I used to find charming or fun about them become bothersome.

    When I no longer look forward to or feel genuinely excited about talking to them or spending time with them, and feel a sense of dread or obligation instead.

  11. When you see a call or text from them and you dread responding and the thought or hanging out with them makes you nauseous!

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