My bf is a hard had diver. He travels for every job and he works 12+ hr days with no days off. This current job has been 6/7 weeks so far and hes still not done. Hes finding this job to be super stressful. Hes normally super happy and joking around but when i call him most days i can tell hes very tired and worn down.
So i am mentally ill although i am in a good spot right now i am bipolar and am learning how to deal with my many manic episodes as apparently having good things happen in life will trigger mania and this has been the case for me lately. I also was anorexic for many years as a teen to the point i was only eating once a week. This led to many physical ailments i believe. As about a month ago my doctor told me once again i have severly high cholesterol 242 overall to be specific and im vitamin d deficient. Since i was a teen ive been on and off a vitamin d supplement. And i delt with a 282 cholesterol a while back and was put on a med and changed my diet and got in the gym and dealt with it. All this to say i have very iffy health but i am doing pretty good overall and i know it worrys my bf and i feel bad every time i have to tell him oh my doc told me i need to change my life this way. Ik it worries him. But now i got a call that my pap smear showed some abnormal cell changes. I have an appointment on the 8th with her and we will go over them. They suggested another pap in 6 months. Do i wait the 6 months before telling him about this? Do i wait until he comes home from this job? Im scared ik him not having to deal with this sort of stuff will be extra worried.
Also we live together, 6 months weve been together(the living together works because we spend the same amount of time together and apart we would with we lived separately no issues thus far actually my perfect living situation) and hes always been super supportive and caring and understanding about my health i just dont want to unload all my garbage health on him.
Another piece if garbage health my dentist informed me i have several cavities and need a lot of work done.
I am also getting out of a deep 10 yr depression so im finally taking care of myself thats why all of this is coming up now.
Tldr my bf has a very stressfull job and i have very bad health im fixing qnd i dont want to stress him out.
3 comments
I would pay attention to your mental health first. If you are well adjusted with your medication, you should avoid anything that upsets the balance, especially in times that are also physically challenging. So no actionism, no spooking the horses. I had some friends with anorexia a long time ago. They all had the same physical problems. They all got better over the years. And teeth can be fixed.
So, don’t tell him anything until you have solid information. If it’s more serious and you don’t need to get rid of it for your own peace of mind, wait until he’s home.
I think it’s okay to share this sort of stuff with him. If you are theoretically building a life together, you need to be able to lean on each other about serious issues, including health IMO. You don’t have to share anything you don’t want to, but I also don’t think you should keep things to yourself for fear of him worrying. You need to get some support too. If you’re not comfortable talking to him about it, I would at least make sure you have other people who you can lean on and talk about these things with so you don’t feel like you have to do it all alone.
You should share this with him. He is your partner and should want to support you. He needs to go whats going on with you.
Imagine how you would feel if he was holding back medical information because he didn’t want to stress you out. I’m betting you would want to know what’s up. I’m betting he will too.
Side note, good for you for taking care of yourself! As a fellow Eating Disorder recovery person, I know it can be really tough to do that. You’re doing a great job!