Dear all,
I have noticed that people seem to not hear what I say. This isn’t just a one time thing btw as it has happened many times over the course of my life so far. It’s hard to explain, but I say the words clearly and yet afterwards people seem to not have understood or in some cases have no recollection of what I said. And it’s not the volume, because 1. I speak loud enough and 2. People acknowledge me when I speak.
See below a couple of examples:
Among friends: I suggest we do something, like play a game or go somewhere, yet no one really digs it. 2 seconds later someone else suggests the exact same thing and everyone agrees it’s a good idea.
In discussions: I make am argument, but everyone dismisses it as not important. Some time later, someone else makes the same argument with the same words and everyone agrees on it.
At work just now: I had made a ppt with graphs and subconclusion slides and then conclusion slides to summarize everything at the end just to make sure that my message was clear. Still a week later, when I basically regurgitated the same thing, my audience (same people) told me: “It’s good to hear that you have a conclusion now. Looking into the data has done you good, last time you didn’t have an opinion.”
Like, what? Why do people not register what I say??? Has anyone had similar experiences? Do you have tips or tricks to avoid this?
Thanks a lot in advance!
6 comments
Have you ever said that you just said that, why is it a good idea now when someone else said it?
Make it more dramatic with emotions and expressions.
Dude. I notice this too. Do your coworkers have massive egos or are generally self absorbed? I notice this problem with those kinds of people.
You’re probably not speaking with confidence, are you? Or, in friend groups, your suggestion is actually not interesting to them, but the one they want approval from whoever said it so they agree with them enthusiastically. Or you friend groups see you beneath them. It’s an imbalance of respect and interest in you, sorry to say.
Designer said it, speak with conviction and confidence, volume.
Are you my younger brother!? Ryan, is that you!?
Damn, my brother says the same thing. Jokes aside, I haven’t experienced it myself, but from what I’ve seen, it could have something to do with how you look and how you carry yourself. I mean, if you look young for your age it could be a factor. But more importantly, if you are not used to being assertive and you are usually too easygoing, some people start taking you for granted.
Could be delivery. Maybe the other person suggested the activity in a more intetesting manner?
Sometimes what is a clear explanation to you is not a clear explanation to others. You might leave out some info which seems obvious to you, but that info is not obvious to them, thus they are missing context.
You might not speak in a clear manner. They acknowledge that you said something (made sounds) but they didn’t understand what you said. There are many stories on the internet where people say “what” if they didn’t understand something being said. After a repeat they still didn’t understood what was said, but it’s to embarrasing to ask “what” multiple times, thus they just acknowledge is without understanding it. My friend tends to say things fast (wether from anxiety/excitement or because they tend to watch videos at 2x speed) and it does sound like a jumble of sounds, but when i ask them to repeat, they just go “nevermind”.