I dated this guy for 4 months. It was a happy and matured relationship. He proposed me for marriage one day and I had no plans of getting married until 27 due to some career aspirations. But I like him very much and he is smart, kind and understanding. One day he mentioned that their parents are pressurising him to get married as he is nearing to 30s and asked me for my decision. We did discuss about the problem and he mentioned because of his ex relationship he doesn’t want to wait or repeat all of it without proper commitment. And, later after thinking I decided to end since I also didn’t want to get married anytime soon and sacrifice my career plans.
But I couldn’t stop thinking about him after saying no. He got engaged the next week and after couple of weeks within a month we met again. He confessed he is not happy with it, and that he took the decision because of my rejection. He also mentioned that sometimes he feels like breaking off the engagement.
I really felt sad that day and asked him if I can get one more chance. He gave it a thought and said no as he doesn’t want to let down his family now. I don’t know what to do as he is getting married in 4 months. Should I convince him or let go
tl;dr : is it worth fighting for him asking him to break of his engagement and compromising my marriage plans for someone who loves, respects me?
13 comments
Four months is ridiculously early to get engaged. You guys were still in the honeymoon stage of the relationship. You don’t really even know a person until you’ve been with them a couple years.
You told him no. He told you no. It is over.
Let him go. You aren’t ready to be married, and you haven’t known him long enough to marry him. And he makes very poor choices in life, which does not make him seem like a good marriage prospect.
Four months is really quick for an engagement, even more so the fact that he was engaged the following week after the break up. Maybe culturally it’s different, but to me both of those would be red flags regardless of him being soon to reach 30 or not.
I think it’d be best to let your decision stand and keep distance. You will find someone that loves and respects you that asks at the right time for you.
No, it didn’t work out. Stop talking to your ex and move on.
I actually think you’ve dodged a bullet. This is a guy who doesn’t care who he marries as long as he gets married. And he has an artificial deadline for doing it.
This is a level of desperation and ulterior motive that makes people hide their true selves. It would have been horrible to have gotten married and the next day found out that he was massively misrepresenting his interests and values and feelings.
Why would you fight for someone who makes such bad life decisions?
Can you tell us your cultural background? From a Westerner’s perspective it’s all very unusual.
…….. he is getting married……. To another woman…..
The fight for him stage is a bit past it’s best by date.
Putting aside the fact that trying to break up someone else’s engagement is selfish and tacky, do you really like the idea of being married to someone who seemingly is okay with marrying whoever is available just because his parents think he should?
Here’s my question. You were concerned that accepting his proposal would mean sacrificing your career. That is so valid, and that problem has not yet gone away. If you do try to convince him, have you all talked about how to accommodate your career goals? Because I would NEVER let love get in the way of your career aspirations.
😂 probably dodged a bullet. this guy is an idiot. proposing to women after only dating them a few months. he is too spineless to stand up to his family.
Wow! 4 months is a very short time. I mean maybe moving in together after 4 months seems plausible. But that’s insanely quick! Then turns around and finds another girl to marry. Sounds like this guy is looking for a pretty face to marry, please his parents and hate to say it…sounds like an idiot that’s about to learn some real life lessons.
This is what happens to young military guys all the time. Meet someone, married fast to get perks and it falls apart so fast. You dodged a bullet no matter how much you liked him.
You don’t know someone after 4 months. Seems like he wanted to get married and doesn’t much care who. So no, let this go, it’s the right decision.