Hello all, I’m a 18 year old male, I’ve noticed scrolling through this subreddit there is a lot of great like-minded men here that I wish can offer me some words of advice/wisdom regarding my situation. So essentially, I graduated high school in ‘22 of last year. A lot of uncontrollable shit happened throughout my high-school years that ultimately affected my mental healthy drastically. I was a complete mess (still very much so am), and I just totally lost sight on what I really wanted to do with my life. I have thought about college, but I mean I come from a pretty poor family and have no reliable source but myself to get me started, I absolutely understand I’m an adult now and am capable of saving up money on my own, and getting my shit together, but it is fucking hard trying to do this all on my own. In terms of college, I also have no idea what I want to do/be so I figured just picking a major that I wasn’t 100% sure in just wasn’t ideal, it’d be a risky move. Currently, I am a McDonald’s manager and im absolutely miserable. I wake up everyday obsessing about how to be successful and worry if im making all the wrong moves. I just don’t even know where to start, sometimes I feel as if some of my dreams/visions are too crazy/unachievable. Ultimately, im just worried of never finding that happiness and success in my life. Im conscious of the fact that im young, but I just feel like a worthless slob most day incapable of reaching any sort of success. If you read this, I appreciate you a lot, because it’s been hard trying to ease my mind with this.
6 comments
Every guy worries about being successful or “measuring up” or hitting goals.
Your goals will change as you change.
I’m in my 30’s. I’ve worked retail and thought I would never get out of it. Others were getting out of it, left and right. I felt stuck.
Eventually, I did get out of it and I got an office job.
I hated it. The stress was crazy! I wasn’t sleeping. I got fat from the stress and not exercising.
Since you want advice:
1. Prioritize marketable skills.
Being a manager requires a lot of multitasking in a fast-paced environment. YOu have to manage other people, that requires good soft skills. You have to deal with customers and their problems. You have to solve them.
All things that other companies need.
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2. Prioritize you.
Eat healthy and lift heavy things. Get out in the gym. Be in the sun. It helps with mood and stress.
3. Keep learning.
Maybe find a new hobby or read random books. You never know where you might find as you keep growing.
Hey man. Just want to say most have us have been there. At 18 the world can seem like it’s caving in and things can and do get difficult. But you’re just started the second phase of your life. Real adulthood. Don’t focus too much on school. As a motivation to you I’ll briefly describe my trajectory. I came from a family that you had to finish school or else. I did, got a biz degree. That is not what helped me in life. At 18 I was delivering pizzas. Then selling furniture and leather jackets. I got into sales and was really good. Ended up working in real estate made great money in my mid 20’s. Did my licensing for home building. Did a couple of flips while working full time and just kept pouring $ into other projects and so far so good. It took a lot of effort. A lot of stress. Anxiety. Sleepless nights. I’ve achieved some of my dreams. I’m not close to having it figured out fully. But I’m content. That’s all that matters in life. To be happy with what you have but still determined to get more out of life.
I would advise to stick it out in your job while looking for more opportunities. Meet people. You never know when your next chance lies. Being of value to someone or business is a great way to kick start a career. Think about what your ideal day is like. What would you like to do. This is difficult at your age as it takes experience. But just know that perseverance and confidence in yourself will prepare you for the right opportunity. I wish you great success.
Dude, you’re 18! Trust me 90 percent of the men I know were the exact same way. First things first get your mental health in order, talk to someone even if it’s just a good friend, I know it’s hard to be a “man” and do that but it must be done. Next, take some classes at a tech school, find out what you’re good at and what you like. Once you find that out dedicate the next 4 to 5 years learning and everything you can and improving your skills in that area. Once you do that either start a small business doing that for a living or move jobs every couple of years to increase your salary and lessen your work load. Trust me success is all about small steps at a time. You’ll be fine if you just focus on the next step and have a goal, good luck!
Might try a trade that will teach you while you work.
Get an associate’s degree from a local community college. It should take about two years. Tuition should be cheap. If you can’t afford it, obtain scholarships (they generally require that you write an essay).
The associate’s will essentially be whatever gen eds a bachelor’s degree would entail. During those two years, you can figure out what you actually want a degree in. Don’t stress if it takes you longer than that.
But once you have that degree, you can then transfer those credits to another college, or get a bachelor’s in whatever majors the CC provides. Just be warned that it can be difficult to pay tuition in a fancy school without taking on a bunch of debt, which I strongly recommend against (unless you chose a particularly high-paying field as your major).
The main thing is, the way society takes advantage of people like you is by putting you in a ton of debt. Many millenials like us were sold a bill of false goods about how effective a college degree can be vs the debt it required us to take on. But you can still follow a similar path without that debt and make something of it.
Most people grow old and die “unsuccessful,” too, so don’t worry about that. Just take things one step at a time.
You need to fail. Fail a bunch of times. I had 30 different jobs before I was 21 and finally figured out that I’m not only a good technician, but I enjoy it. I love going to work, and the pay has been decent enough to be able to save and invest for my future. So, figure out what you enjoy doing that you can be paid to do full time.