We have been together for more than 3 years and we live together for 1 year. She is an awesome loving person. We have common interest and we have common future plans. I trully love her but the missmatch in libido is driving me crazy more and more. It started to show in my behaviour lately. I do not want to loose her (either breakup from my side ot hers). That is why I write this post.
I have really high sex drive. To be honest I would have to have sex atleast once a day to be fully satisfied (maybe even twice). She, on the other hand, seems to be okay with once a week (maybe even less). First few months of dating were awesome. We did not live together and we seek every oportunity to have sex. We have been doing it multiple times when there was an oportunity and we really tried hard to find it. As the time went on, her sex drive gradually declined. It excalated after we started to live together.
90% of the time I am the one who initiate sex. It is always before sleep in bad. If i try to initiate it in the morning or randomly throughout the day I am being refused almost all the time (not now, I have a work, I am tired, etc.). During our relationship I have learned that sex outside of evening hours is taboo and I do not try anymore. I am being refused even in the evening often. It makes me feel rejected, not loved and disconnected from her. It also makes me feel like I am begging her for sex. I feel lack of sex all the time and I find myself nervous almost every day about if this is going to be the lucky day we have sex or not. I do not want to ask her because I am tired of asking her to have sex with me. Therefore I often cancel my evening plans with friends just because i want to stay home with her with a hope of sex. I always tried to be understanding and not push her to something she does not feel like doing. But sometimes I loose it (especially the evenings I cancel my plans and nothing happens). I am not angry but rather sad and frustrated. Even if we have sex it is always quick and vanilla. I would like to experiment. Do some kinky stuff. She on the other hand prefers just missionary position. She does not like oral sex (nor giving, not recieving). I do not even think about about fullfilling my kinky expactations. She seems to enjoy the sex (she also tells she likes it) but I have a feeling she is just doing for a must.
I have told her many times that I am feeling lack of intimacy. She always tells different reason why is it happening (different libidos, no time, her being tired last days and sometimes she tries to convince me it was more times than I think). Sometimes I can see that she is trying but it stops after a while and then gets even worse.
I love her. But sex is an important part of relationship for me. We have no kids yet and we are young. Last days I started to think if I really want to be sexually frustrated till the end of my life and masturbate all the time to relieve tension. I feel like I have a roommate, not girlfriend. But I love her. Beside intimacy we are a perfect couple. I do not want to break up but I do not know what to do.
1 comment
So have you ever read women’s porn? We consume porn by reading SMUT. Men are more visual, for us is the foreplay that gets us in the mood. Tell her how pretty she looks, buy her flowers once every 2 weeks, cuddle with her, hug her from behind and kiss her neck and then leave. There is a bunch of things that you can do to get her in the mood, is the way you look at her, treat her that will want her to desire you back in a sexual way. Flirt with her, let her come look for you. Take her to dates, surprise her with little gifts or dinners. Make out without having sex.