I have a friend from childhood that I recently started hanging out with again. It has been amazing getting to know him all over again, and he is just as funny and cool and down to earth as I remember. I’ve been very depressed for a long time especially after we graduated and I really didn’t make any friends and develop any social skills. I must have not realized just how lonely I was because I’m now becoming so obsessed with him.
He’s the only happiness I have right now, and we have had very deep depressing conversations with each other already about how lost we both are in life and I just feel like after he has opened up to me it’s us against the world. Right now the outside world doesn’t even exist to me and all I think about is him.
I don’t want to annoy him with messages constantly but it is so hard not to text him all the time to ask what he is doing and how he is feeling. I just want to be a part of his life so deeply. I genuinely cried tonight because he is not sleeping here with me in my bed like he was last weekend. I want to feel him laying here next to me and just hear his voice quiet beside me and feel his breath and know that he is alive and well here with me sharing this moment in time. I’m aching so deeply thinking about it now that it physically hurts me like I feel a heaviness in my limbs.
I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I feel like maybe I am becoming too attached to him and need to take a break from seeing him to go back to a normal healthy friendship, but thinking about taking a break from him kills me. I really need advice. I care about him so much I want to cry.
20 comments
That third paragraph is beautiful man. I always longed for a friendship like the one you have. It sounds like you guys have became the best of friends. True friends are there for one another at their darkest point.
I’d have a conversation with him and tell him everything you’re feeling. I’m sure he’d appreciate you telling him how much you care about him.
You need to step back and get your head straight. Being obsessed with him will likely scare him and make it more likely he will want emotional distance. Appreciate the relationship and also use your new energy to build more a life for yourself – explore things you think you might enjoy and maybe join a volunteer or social group qnd meet some new people. That will also give you new things to share with your best friend.
I think maybe you are in love! If you’ve never had feelings like this before for someone, he could in fact be your first love. You should probably let him know how you feel.
Dude, you’re in love .
OP, it sounds like you *might* be in love. I was experiencing similar symptoms before realizing I loved my current SO, and I simply mistook them for Strong Friendship Vibes (crazy, I know /sarcasm).
I don’t think taking a break will help, since “absence makes the heart grow fonder”. However, it would be recommended to find an outlet for these feelings. Do things with the new energy you have, since the sudden energy might spook him a bit. And since he’s the primarily source of joy you have right now, finding other sources will help these feelings chill a bit.
It sounds like you need counselling. If you’re depressed, you can’t make your friend the source of your happiness. It’s okay to have feelings for him and to care for him. But you also must care for yourself. Please talk to someone.
You sound like a lovesick teenage girl.
Sounds like you are romantically in to him also you might need therapy
I mean I think you’re in love with that dude.
You’re in love, and it’s terrifying and exciting all at once. Talk to him. If you’ve had deep conversations already, you can talk about this as well.
You’re gay
There is nothing wrong with you.
You are autistic and you have a boyfriend who you love.
Source: I have an autistic boyfriend who could have written your post ten years ago.
You are not annoying him. He loves you. Relationships are voluntary and if he was uncomfortable, he would leave. I understand why you are afraid of losing him, but he’s sticking around. Enjoy.
Please get yourself into therapy.
What you are describing is obsessive and unhealthy. You need help so you can learn how to have healthy relationships with healthy boundaries.
Have you told him how you feel about him?
I sense you don’t have a lot of social contacts. Finding one that is such a good fit for you right now is amazing and maybe even love in whatever shape that comes. But…maybe it just means you would feel this way socializing with other like-minded people too. So before you overwhelm him with your desire to be with him in order to feel good, maybe find out if you get this feeling with different people at work, sport or volunteer work. It would be sad to see this relationship with your friend end in tears if his feelings aren’t mutual and he feels you’re stalking him. I’m happy for you.
Please let him know how much you value his friendship, it could be he is feeling similar emotions. Having a good cry is healthy I cried this morning listening to Tom waites.
Just use protection.
You been drinking to much bud light
You might want to check out the limerence sub as it sounds a lot like that.
Limerence isn’t love, it’s an obsessive type of attraction which is usually triggered by something going on in your life. I think it seems as though that might be the case here, with you feeling lonely and a lot of life changes. Genuine love doesn’t feel like this. And crushes don’t either (if it’s at the point where you can’t think of anything else and feel anxious when they’re not around).
The advice in those cases is usually to disclose how you feel or go low contact, as you need to either establish a healthier relationship or cut it off. Good luck, OP!
i think that you should try and find an outlet that you can put your feelings towards— part of me is getting the vibes that you like him but haven’t figured it out yet, and the other part just thinks you are so obsessive because he’s your first true friend in however long. i suggest trying to figure out what your feelings are- whether they’re romantic or platonic.
i know you weren’t expecting all of these people to say that it should’ve like you like him; but as a bisexual that’s honestly the vibes i get. i’m not gonna assume your sexuality; just how it seems. i get how difficult it can be though. i’m here if you ever wanna talk 🫶