My girlfriend of 4 years recently moved to a new city and has made a couple of friends. I’m grateful that she made these new friends as they are making her life easier by helping her set things up and show her the city. However she has met this one guy who I think likes her, but she brushes it off as just good friends. Now she spends quite some time with this guy as it turns out they are colleagues too. They seem to have gotten quite close and she doesn’t try to hide the fact. She recently posted stories with this guy and they seem very close which makes me feel uncomfortable. I maintain my boundaries with my friends in my friend circle and I really don’t click pictures or get too close (physically) with my lady friends. I thought about talking to her about this but I feel this might cause her to hate me for ruining her friendship. I don’t want her to lose friends in a new city because her boyfriend is uncomfortable. Is it ok to expect she maintains the same physical boundaries with her male friends as I do or does it vary person to person. How should I deal with this?
TLDR: Girlfriend moved to new city and her closeness to her new male friends makes me uncomfortable
11 comments
We are men we know that girls don’t have guy friends. He’s trying to fuck her if she knows or not. Even if he isn’t f that tbh, had the same problem with my gf . So I started hanging out with real hot girls who ya know just my friend. She dropped that male friend so quick. Plus if anything dude annd she wants to keep him as a friend just leave. Bc girls do not understand male friends are wolfs in sheep’s clothing and if he’s just a friend that’s honestly just weird. Yeah I’m also protective over my girl your head isn’t in the wrong place.
Simple. Breakup with her. You dont stand a chance against a guy who is providing her attention 24/7 at work and school.
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Sounds harsh but thats all you have. I’ve been the guy friend. Many of my friends have been the guy friends. We all know how it ended.
I mean it’s not wrong you have those feelings. Everyone’s feelings are valid whether they are correct is to be determined. You are in the green imo. You have limits and boundaries and she should be able to have a conversation about it without feeling like you are holding her back from anything. If anything that helps me when me and my fiancé have discussions. He asked me to place myself in his shoes. Most of the time I see his point, and can make a compromise. Ask her sometimes also to invite you to get to know some of the guys, you’ll observe how they interact with one another and gauge the other men’s intentions. Personally I hold the same regard that you do in this instance, and my fiancé would too. Best of luck friend!
This relationship seems already too far gone, she’s in a different city, hanging out with a different dude. You lost this one chief. However, in the future, don’t let anyone tell you its toxic or wrong to set boundaries, if your partner isnt okay with them, then yall aint meant to be.
If you can’t talk to your own partner for fear they might get angry at you then you might as well break up. Relationships don’t work without clear communication. Especially long distance ones.
Know your worth.
Repost but change the genders around. The advise you receive will guide you.
Going forward set standards and boundaries. If they break any rules, they must be out the door, immediately. Zero tolerance. No social media is critical requirement.
If your boundary is “my partner cannot have friends of the opposite sex” and “I cannot have close friends of the opposite sex,” then sure, break up.
But please examine your belief system here. Let’s take it away from your girlfriend and onto you. You won’t take pictures or get physically close to women because… it’s sexual to take pictures with a woman? It’s sexual to hug a friend?
If you think that the only way men and women can relate is sexual, that’s a toxic belief to examine.
Dump her buddy she’s not into you or she wouldn’t have side guys.
You have the right to say that you are not comfortable with it. And if she don’t laiten to you or understand your feelings than she isn’t really your girl. You have to understand this and make her understand also that you love her and it affects you but if she doesn’t stop there than you know in your heart what is actually going on
No, do talk with her. A general rule is, that while in relationship you do not act like you have a crush on someone else, and if someone ties to flirt with you, you distance yourself from such person.
Ask this of her, and what she decides to do is up to her. However, if she can’t do so, you will need to break up.
She’s dating another guy, so………