Hello everyone.
We met on Tinder last December and hit it off right away. We went on a few dates and decided to make it official. We texted every day, sharing our daily lives with each other. But somewhere around February, our conversations just started to fizzle out. Instead of talking every day, we only texted each other every day or so. I tried to keep things going, but it felt like I was the only one putting in any effort. When she moved to another city at the beginning of last month, things got even worse. She never reached out to me.I have stopped trying at this point, and it’s been radio silence ever since.
I’m the type of person who likes to have serious conversations face-to-face, but I don’t think I can wait until my girlfriend comes back to visit her family to talk about this. Plus, we’ve never even had a phone call or video chat in our entire time together — we only text. So I’m not really sure how to bring it up without making it feel like a big deal.
I feel like our relationship just ended by default, but I’m not sure if that’s what my girlfriend intended. What are your thoughts? Thank you.
Edit: Added extra details.
30 comments
In my opinion it should be a big deal. You shouldn’t have to make it seem casual when it’s obviously been affecting you negatively. You deserve to let her know how this makes you feel.
I realise this might be a silly question but did you ever have a conversation that made it official? It already started to fizzle out after 3 months? And now it’s only 7 months in, she’s moved to a new city and doesn’t talk to you. Is there potential here for a misunderstanding on what this was?
Either way – break up formally if it helps you, but move on.
It doesn’t sound like you even had a relationship—you only ever texted. Best thing to do is move on.
Just don’t waste your time on someone that clearly doesn’t want to put effort in, I’m surely you’ll find someone you’ve got an amazing vibe with
Is it possible that she catfished you?
Kind of sounds like… quiet quitting, but for a relationship. I say you make it official and end it, move on and find someone who values you enough to communicate and all the good stuff
Sounds like you weren’t an official couple anyway
It’s absolutely what she intended, although maybe not out of malice. It sounds like you two just drifted apart.
You may have met up a few times, but it was never really a ‘relationship’. Have you ever been to where she is? Or is it just you wait until she comes back home to you? Is there a reason why you have never called or video-called?
If you don’t call or meet up regularly, it’s not a relationship. At your age, you must surely know the difference.
I wouldn’t even bother bringing it back up, just move on and find a proper relationship.
Your relationship – if that’s what it was – has fizzled out. Move on.
I don’t think she’s still your girlfriend…
As someone said its quite strange….a relationship is not defined by text messages and a couple of dates. Someone you date is someone you see a lot for a lot of moths, in real life, not just by online texts. A relationship doesnt happen by doing a “firm on a paper” after 5/6/10 times you see each other, but after a lot of quality time spent in real life, that make the connection stronger and make things go on.
When people dont see each other in real life and stop texting is because, from one or the other part, there is no more interest. Of course she intended it, its hard to accept but that’s what it is. If someone WANTS you they text you, find ways to meet you also if they live far away. She just didnt feel the connection she needed to continue that “knowing each other” part.
The next time you meet someone by Tinder maybe try to dont “run” things by immediatly defining it as relationship, value better the connection and the limits. Try to meet more in person.
When did you actually last talk? You could message her for closure but I’d say it’s over from her side.
Hate to break it to you, but it sounds like the relationship is already over. She just didn’t want to tell you.
This is called soft ghosting, where someone slowly cuts contact. Not to repeat the oft quoted line, but if she wanted to she would. She isn’t putting in the effort to keep this relationship alive, which unfortunately means it’s time to cut your losses and move on. I’m sorry this is happening to you, but you deserve better than this.
Did you actually had a conversation and agreed with eachother that you are a couple? Or did you just assume? Did you guys get intimate? Did both of you tell friends and family about it and got togather and made plans togather. Did you meet her friends or family?? Did she meet yours? Did you talk about future or that you like eachother??
Going on a few dates is not a relationship. It’s very vague to be anything at all.
She moved away and basically stopped communicating with you. She is passively aggressively telling you she isn’t intrested in this relationship and trying to escape it without saying it.
She is definitely not your gf
I’m not sure she was ever your girlfriend to begin with.
I think this was just a friendship that just ended. Most times we hit it off with people and then kinda mistake if we like them to be our friends or to be in a relationship. That’s a sweet spot sometimes hard to find.
Even then, if you’re sure that you guys saw a proper romantic relationship with yourselves, then there’s no big reason here. Some people just feel like long distance relationship is a mental block, so that might be the reason for.it.
You’re quite right for thinking it ended like that. It probably has. Your course is probably run. Maintaining a serious relationship only by text…mmmm, Nope! That doesn’t work. A relationship by text is not a relationship.
Move on, my Bf is in Utah, I’m in Florida. We met once, but everyday we text, we video chat. We share disappointments and triumphs.
I’ve been seeing him since Feb of 2023, I couldn’t imagine not seeing or hearing from him daily.
She clearly just isn’t into you, otherwise it would have been more than a couple of dates.
That isn’t your girlfriend and hasn’t been for a long time. Move on and go NC. You got ghosted.
Did you accidently hit the wrong age when typing this?
You’re almost 30. Man, move on ffs. It’s done.
Sounds like it was a situation ship of convenience that isn’t so convenient for her anymore. It’s up to you whether or not you force a conversation around “breaking up“…but the reality is that you aren’t a couple anymore.
Time to move on.
Uh. I know everyone uses different terminology but that’s not nor was ever a girlfriend. As big as I am on communication, I don’t think there’s anything to talk about. If she was invested, you’d have more than silence. Count your losses and move on
This uh. Doesn’t sound like she was ever your gf.
Did you specifically ask her to be your girlfriend or did she ask you??
I don’t think she was ever your “girlfriend”
Just went through this last week. Texting got sporadic and non existent, she just ended it. Unfortunately distance happens and when one person stops putting in effort there’s not much you can do. I’d reach out again and ask her if anything’s wrong but honestly at this point you might want to consider ending it yourself, relationships need to be reciprocal.
All the two of you did was text. That’s all. Someone should’ve requested a date to meet. That never happened. It might be a good idea to move on with your life. Nothing ventured. Nothing gained. Nothing loss. I wish you the best in life.