Ok, I don’t know what to do about my thoughts anymore. I am usually into brown hair, brown-eyed, smart guys that aren’t too young. I’m 25 and would prefer 23-24+ and I would want meaningful conversations.
Yet I matched with this 22 year old guy on tinder, who couldn’t even spell properly, blonde hair, green eyes. Not someone I’d ever think I would be into.
And what’s worse is that he didn’t contribute anything meaningful, nothing he said had any depth at all. And yet I suddenly developed feelings????
I ended up deleting him, cause I don’t think he would’ve ever “got me” and he did not seem interested. I said his selfie was cute and he said thanks. Not even a “you too” or nothing.
I’m legit upset after I deleted him and being “attached” to someone without any prior depth to the relationship, no meet-up and no phone-call is so weird to me.
Anyone got a clue why this happened? lol. There is no reason for me to be upset and no reason to have liked him.
3 comments
It’s that you like him or like the attention he give you even if it’s lackluster?
You were physically attracted, and he provided so little depth, you were able to project your desires onto him. He didn’t say much, so there wasn’t much to break that spell. Usually, I’d suggest getting to know them better, and that will kill that feeling. Unless he was a good guy. But, at the same time, you can’t always get the measure of a person through a textual exchange, some people are just more themselves in person. But, going with your gut is best, and this guy just wasn’t ticking those boxes, especially because you didn’t feel desired, which seems important to you, and is important to most people.
There’s also the fact that you felt rejected, and unwanted. Those feelings can transfer to a desire to change that, for your own ego, and that can be mistaken as genuine attachment. You’re attached to an idea, and and inclination to change the emotions he instilled within you, to something more positive.
But, he has no idea who you are, beyond shallowly. He was physically attracted to you, but just wasn’t an engaging person. So, you don’t need to feel rejected, because you never even met him, and you have no idea how he might respond to you in that situation, or if he would even interest you further, if you had met him.
Maybe it was just a bland guy, and because of that, it was easy to project your desire on him, and hard to let go of, because this is coming from within, and not from him.
Chemistry is extremely weird and chaotic. IDK. I’ve had fire chemistry with people who tripped both of my 2 dealbreakers. It just happens. Just remember it isn’t *everything.* Strong feelings are important but a good relationship has *several* layers of support all going right at the same time.