Extremely insecure about my butt 21F w/ 22M

20 comments

1. Can you see a therapist for your insecurity?

2. I have no ass either, and its a shame that your boyfriend and other people make you feel like its something to think about. My partner has never made me feel anything negatively about it, even when I make comments about it.

   If YOU want a bigger butt for YOU and it would improve your quality of life, you could maybe try some sort of buttock enhancement, but don’t do it to please your boyfriend.

   Maybe you could also focus on improving your self-esteem and self-worth through therapy or exercises on your own. Your relationship with your body is important (even if it just being assless) 🙂

3. Only date and fuck people who are *out of their minds* crazy about how you look *exactly as you are, at this very moment*.

   There are so many men in the world who are very into whatever you have going on. Why waste time on anything else?

4. A big ass is only a ‘flex’ now. I was bullied relentlessly for my shape throughout school because the ‘thin supermodel’ look was popular, only in my later 20s did it become ‘cool’ to have a huge ass. They’re also not fun to own, much like larger breasts it gives you insane backache, clothes never fit properly & you’re objectified for it everywhere you go.
   I promise you in no time at all trends will change and you’ll be thankful you weren’t build like these IG models or BBL partakers. Let’s not forget 99% of models we see online are also heavily edited. As full of surgery as the kardashians are they still edit all their pics to look curvier. The people with the ass you aspire to have, don’t even have that ass lol.

   You don’t need a butt to feel like a woman, you’ve just got to learn to love you for all you are ❤️

5. It’s all a game. My ass is a too big. No matter how much I try to slim it down, I can’t. I have a regulated diet, I workout a lot, and still—it’s big. I hated it when I was young. Like another poster, I’m from the group where super thin was in. I wanted to be thin thin thin more than anything. I hated my ass, my breasts, the broad shoulders, and the fleshier middle. However, this is my shape. I’m healthy, I’m fit, and I eat well. I only hate my body now two days a week and I deeply regret that I’ve let men and society in general condition me to think something is wrong with my body.

   Look, grass is always greener. Learn to love what you are. Work out for health, not for a man or a look. Whittle down the days you hate how you look and be glad you have what you have.

   also, dump your boyfriend. I get you’ve been together a while but he should like you as you are at this point. Telling you that your ass isn’t big enough is a gross flex on his part.

   Addendum: to the people who have messaged and pointed out that people are “allowed to have preferences” about body types—that’s cool. It’s ok to say you don’t want to date someone morbidly obese or 7 feet tall, and turn down an overture. It’s not ok to get involved with someone seriously and then pressure them to have a different body. It’s patently not ok.

6. Here is the thing – perception of what represents bodily beauty is a constantly changing thing.

   When I was very young, a stick thin body was what everyone wanted (Google “Twiggy”).

   In the 70’s everyone wanted to go braless, wear bellbottoms, halter tops, zero makeup, and have straight, long hair parted in the middle.

   In the 80s skinny was back in because nobody wanted to see curvy people wearing skin-tight spandex. Hair was long and permed, and BIG. Turquoise eye shadow was big. So were big shoulder pads. Massive make-up was required.

   Through it all, though, we are all still who we are. And that’s a good thing. Firstly, because you never know when following the latest fad could come back and (sorry) bite you in the ass. Secondly, the thing that never changes is whether you are a good person or not a good person.

   This boy you are dating is not a good person.

7. I’ve been made fun of my entire life for having a huge ass. Even when it got popular I still have body dysmorphia and have struggled with EDs because of it. I’ve learned that it’s good to work on myself but that I also need to accept who I am and live with what I am.

   I’m sorry you’re going through this but the grass is always greener and I have spent my life wishing I was waify thin and smaller…. when really the important thing all along has been to focus on being happy. Much love.

8. Honey, let me tell you something I’ve learned, and it took me over 25 years for it to sink into my thick skull. Once upon a time, flat butts were the “in” thing. Skinny, curvy, chunky, rail-thin, athletic build, tall, short, stocky, big boobs, small boots, big butts, small butts… whatever is considered “attractive” is always changing. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks.

   So now say this out loud in the mirror to yourself, “I am gorgeous. Any guy I am with who doesn’t see me for the sexy and gorgeous woman I am does not deserve me.”

9. Ok i know you are young and thats why you dont know this, but guys are not nearly as harsh when they look at women as we are when we look at ourselves. maybe its because they are just brutish monkeys whereas women are works of art, i dont know, but when men look at women, the opposite of what happens when we look at ourselves occurs; whereas you see every single flaw, they only see the good stuff. they see women in their absolute best, all the time. whatever tiny flae you have they arent focusing on it, they are just happy to see your naked butt. i know this is crazy to think about, but it is possible you actually have a really nice butt and YOU are the only one who thinks its small. i doubt your bf would be dating you if he didn’t like you or didn’t like having sex with you. Some butts are more lean and tight, some are junkier, but men like them either way! sure they mnight have a preference but no guy is going to be like, eeew small butt, and if they are they wouldn’t be dating you or sleeping with you.

   Plus when you are standing up straight your butt shape is less emphasized, imagine when you are having sex and you are bent at the wast like in doggy, your butt is propped up and sticks out so even if its small it looks much bigger to guys in certain positions. basically what you see when you look at yourself in the mirror IS NOT what he sees. the thing a guy likes most in a woman is confidence; be confident he wouldnt be dating you if he wasnt attracted to you. if he notices you turn your butt away, its because he was definitely trying to get a look at it and noticed you blocking his view. let him look! maybe bend over more around him with your clothes on just for the hell of it. drop something in front of him and slowly pick it up in a very obvious “opps let me pick that up” type of thing, and if you want him to pay attention to your butt during sex, stick it out! stick it in his face! he will love it. have fun with it. you are young and at the peak of your life, enjoy your body because it only gets worse from here!

10. It sucks when you aren’t within the “ideal” for any reason. I’m 5’5” M and I get a lot of shit about it. Used to be fat growing up until my high school years when I was determined and got in shape. Although these things hurt, you have to learn to love yourself and feed your mind positively.

    Gonna be a hypocrite here because I don’t find either extreme attractive. Just anything between. Been through the horny teenager phase obsessing over big butts. Much older now and bigger isn’t better. Just gets in the way. An ass that fits your overall build is a good one. It’s all preference. Ik guys that love super thick women and some prefer skinnier ones. Doesn’t matter what the majority thinks, you only need one even though it may take time.

    You can absolutely have a great relationship even if they don’t love your butt. You don’t have to love every single detail about your partner. As long as they are understanding and provide reassurance. Hope you get through this. You should definitely get help through therapy etc. Maybe find non invasive ways to enhance? Idk how those things work.

11. Be with someone who wants you for you! He seems comfortable not in love. Desired body types change pretty frequently, and your body will change too, they gotta love and respect you for who you are. Anyone who consistently makes you feel bad about how you look isn’t the one.

12. I don’t have a booty either. My fiancé tells me all the time he loves my “big” booty but I always blow it off but I know he does it to make me feel better about myself. I’ve tried the home work outs too and could just never notice a difference to my booty. Honestly if your man doesn’t appreciate you or your body for that matter then he’s not worth it! I’ve never had a man appreciate me or adore my body like my fiancé does now. I’m not anything special, I’m not in shape and honestly need to lose about 50 pounds but my fiancé thinks everything about me is perfect. That’s exactly the type of man or partner you need in your life.

13. If he can’t eat it, lick it , love it, rub it, touch it, kiss it then boot him out of your life. I think it’s fine. Everyone has a different one!! It’s the same as boobs and pussy…. They are all different, how boring if they were all the same!!! Get rid of the self doubt and the boy!!!! ❤️

14. I have no ass, heavy boobs that hurt my back, I’m 5’1 and I’m chubby and guess what sweetheart. I don’t give a f**! Let me tell you something. I used to want to get surgery and wanted to look like the Kardashians until I realized I love myself and loving myself brought the right people into my life that were going to love me for me. Maybe I don’t have a big booty, but I have a pretty face with a pretty heart and that’s what counts. I feel pretty no matter what and this going to come out harsh but, sometimes we look at our flaws but one minute you look like that the next thing you know you can lose you’re ability to see, to walk, to hear to anything and that’s when I realize maybe I’m not the best but I’m alive and healthy. And you’re beautiful, but you need the right people and you need to say 5 positive things you like about yourself every morning and every night and it’ll change the way you view yourself. Don’t change for others change for you and realize that you’re beautiful inside and out darling.

15. Hey saltsea, I was you! Or I suppose, I’m an older version of you. I had no ass whatsoever, barely any hips, and hated how insecure I felt about it. I worked out constantly, and it only seemed like my thighs got bigger. I sort of resigned myself to thinking this was just my body type and got over it, somewhat. Well, lo and behold, my body changed as I got older. I’m the same weight as I was when I was 21, perhaps even a few kg less, but my hips got wider and my butt became more round over the years. I’m 31 now and very happy with my body. My butt isn’t huge, but it’s nicely shaped and fits me. My husband loves it. Give it time! We fill out a bit with age. Oh, and dump the boyfriend. There are men out there who will love the way you look.

16. I have no ass, I’ve been told my wholleeeee life I have no ass. My bf tells me everyday I have a fat Ass, find a guy who will love every part of you. It may not be big and we both know it but he still says things that make me feel like I’ve actually got something. 😂 and believe me growing up I did all the home workouts too and it never helped and the constant ridicule used to hurt but I realized that I love my body for how it looks. It’s unique bc it’s mine and I’ve had it all my life, what others think is irrelevant. And I’m not saying find a guy who says you’ve got a fat ass even if it’s flat, im saying get a guy who doesn’t make shitty comments about it being flat in the first place, and who says you look beautiful no matter what. (Also been with my bf for 4 years and he’s never treated me like that)

17. Just stop. You are not your butt, and you are obsessing over something you know you can’t change. Millions of women would love to have a small butt, and you are fortunate enough to have one.

    Can you see how you are damaging your emotional health by going on IG, worrying about what guys think of your butt and being hurt when your BF reflects your insecurities?

    Acceptance is the key, and counselling can help you to restore the confidence you deserve. And dump that dumb arse BF. (See what I did there?😆)

18. Spend some time looking at different style icons. Like if your body type is more Audrey Hepburn or Kate Moss, put up a print or two on your wall.

    There’s a lid for every pot and someone out there is attracted to exactly your look. And you’ll meet him eventually.

19. All butts are great. Big, small, flat, round, average, you name it. I’m willing to bet that most men feel the same way I do. I’m sorry that your boyfriend has made you feel this way.

    I’m suspecting a subtle kind of manipulation where he mentions this semi-frequently, but never pushes the issue so that he has deniability while still getting into your head. I’m extremely ashamed to say that I did the same thing when I was a teenager & wanted my girlfriend to change something about herself. It’s manipulative and evil. Confront him about this, and honestly I’d probably leave him as he needs to work on himself.

    Edit: I just looked at your post history and you have a fantastic body. Don’t feel insecure for a second, because you have no reason to!

20. Im not commenting on the relationship part… just the butt. If you want it, get it!

    Other girls don’t have it by default, you would be surprised how many girls work for it.

    it’s 100% normal to not grow a butt with resistance bands and high reps, who told you that would be the way? If you can do high reps, the resistance is way too small to grow anything.

    You need to lift weights, HEAVY weights, the kind of heavy you can lift only 10-12 times in a row.

    You need to do deadlifts, squats, and some butt isolation machine at the gym.
    Later you can do glutes bridges.

    Source : I HAD the flattest butt on earth. But also, I’m a physiotherapist trained in muscle growth.