Edit: Really appreciate the input guys, now i’m sure i won’t come out being the bad guy, would update how it goes.
Update: Finally broke it to her in the most polite way i could and she still didn’t take it well but she got the message at least. Told her how she’s a great person and all but I’m still working on me and my issues, better version of me and some other stuff… Can’t really remember exactly what i said cause i just wanted it to be done with and it finally is. hlHopefully though, cause she still seems to be holding out hope for something further on but at least i got my message across and its no longer on me. Guess life’s not just fair. Appreciate the help people.
33 comments
Sorry, but I’m not interested in dating you
Like a job interview
“I am thankful for the opportunity, and am truly honored to be your choice, unfortunately i am not currently interested, i will contact in case i change my mind”
Just be polite about it. I’ve lied a bunch of times in the past with the ‘I have a gf’ card.
Sorry, I just want to be friends.
You can’t. Rejection hurts unless the other person asks you out literally out of boredom and doesn’t care a lick if you accept. Just say it in few and simple words “sorry, I’m not interested” and move on.
You don’t.
Feelings will be hurt no matter what. She fancies you, you don’t fancy her. Any rejection is going to sting.
Your job isn’t to make sure you don’t hurt her feelings, it’s to ensure you hurt them as little as possible.
Women are, in almost every way, extremely similar to men. If your feelings would be hurt being rejected, others will too. Feelings and emotions are not rational, we don’t get to control them.
Getting rejected sucks and will hurt feelings. Let her down gently. “Sorry, I’ll have to decline.” Is a perfectly valid response that passes no judgement and sets boundaries.
Just as a woman owes you no explanation when she rejects you, you owe no explanation for rejecting this lady.
Probably not possible as expectations are the root of all suffering. You can try lying and saying it’s not you, it’s me or some other fib, but people need to learn how to manage their expectations, and men are honest and direct.
Sorry I don’t feel the same way, I’m a little dissapointed myself that I don’t feel that way tbh, because you seem really [Insert prefered adjective here], but I wouldn’t want to waste your time if I know I don’t feel the same way.
This is Reddit, nobody here is rejecting ladies. Be for real
Well you’re going to risk hurting her feelings so just say you don’t want her. She’ll eventually get over it…hopefully.
Tell her no thank you and keep it moving. You do not owe someone an explanation of why you are not interested in them. If she is a stranger that should be easy to say no. Nobody wants to be rejected. Be honest and thats it
I always say yes. And if i’m already dating someone i follow with “yeah, let me call my girlfriend, we could double, what was your boyfriends name again?”
I say the same thing that I honestly love female friends saying to me (when they’re not interested): “I honestly prefer the friendship we already have!”
And if there isn’t an existing friendship: “I’m flattered but not interested!”
“I totally would, but you’re ugly.”
Everyone on here seems to be all for the blunt, body-slam of “I am not interested in dating you.” It may get the point across but, damn, OP asked if there is a way to do it without hurting feelings, and that is most definitely going to cut deep.
I usually go with the simple “I am actually talking with/seeing someone else.” All feelings preserved, she knows you are not available, and it is the whitest lie because it can literally mean there is someone else you are interested in which is almost always true and harmless. If you bump into them again, and they ask how it’s going you can still play the card or say it didn’t work out or something.
If they persist or keep asking then maybe you can disembowel them with the “I have zero interest in you.”
I am aware some people think it is better to be blunt and honest, and I would never string someone along, but if you have an ounce of tact and communication skills, you can easily decline advances AND spare feelings.
“Sorry, but I’m not interested.”
That’s all you need. And that’s all I need to hear if I’m getting rejected.
No need to beat around the bush, or drag things out with elaborate lies, just say you’re not interested.
Just say you wanna remain single
You can’t. Rejection hurts. There’s no way around that. Just be polite and clear.
I appreciate that but I don’t think the feeling is mutual unfortunately.
No, thank you.
I’m not interested, thank you.
I’m flattered, but I’m just not interested.
Any of these work.
Her feelings will take a hit regardless. Just say thank you for the invite but I am not interested.
I’m not interested in any kind of romantic relationship but thank you.
“I’m flattered but I don’t think we have that kind of chemistry.” As long as your delivery is kind and relatively discreet, most normal people will take the L.
Obviously, people are only human, and everyone gets the sads at getting turned down by a crush for at least a minute. So, don’t go overboard trying to negate an emotional response. That’s not realistic.
“I am honestly flattered that you’re interested in me. You truly are a beautiful lady, but currently, I am at that point in life that I am not interested in any sort of relationship.”
You can’t have your cake and eat it too.
Rejection, by definition hurts feelings. The best thing you can do is be concise, so she doesn’t misunderstand. You can only minimize it by being polite.
“Thanks, but I don’t see you like that.”
“I’m flattered, but I’m not interested.”
“I’m sorry, I don’t feel the same way.”
And don’t be surprised if they become distant or straight up ghost you. It’s probably for the best for both of you.
I always lie and encourage people to do the same.
You can just say “I’m sorry, I’m seeing someone right now”. That’s literally the least painful choice. It was not them, but an external force.
If you say “Hey, I dont want to date you because I don’t find you attractive” like other posters said you are messing up the other person self worth for absolutely nothing in return.
I just said, “I’m sorry, but I’m not interested.”
You can’t control her feelings, but: be clear in refusing, be discreet so far as possible, express that you’re flattered by her interest without entertaining the possibility that your opinion could change, and continue to interact with her afterwards the same way, so long as she’s willing and able to do so too.
“Seeing someone else” “Still trying to work through stuff” “Not ready for it”. Or the good old, not interested in that thanks. Make it about the offer and not the person.
No thank. I’m not interested
“I’m very flattered thank you, but __________”
1) I’m spoken for
2) I’m not currently looking for a relationship
3) I’m not interested
Any of the above have worked perfectly fine in my experience.
I generally just wake up. That tends to solve that problem
I’m a firm believer in being rational and honest but keeping things condensed. From my personal experience is say something along the lines of ” I am flattered and I will take it as a compliment, but I do not see you in that way” . Like honestly be polite but also you have to get across your point .