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A lot of men will do this. They will kind of lie about who they are for a while so they can get what they want. Then it starts coming out that they’re more conservative than they said. Then it comes out that they’re more controlling than they said. Then it comes out that they’re more Moody than they said. And it comes out that they jump to anger quickly. It’s tough to find someone who is genuine but my only advice is to just keep looking
I dated someone who was absolutely perfect at first, always kind and considerate. But after a few months, his true colors began to show. He became increasingly controlling and possessive, always wanting to know where I was and who I was with. It was like I was dating a completely different person. It was a tough experience, but I learned a lot about red flags and how important it is to trust your gut.
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I ended up in the hospital
My children’s father was like this. He was always kind and caring until we moved in together. He immediately changed and became super controlling and manipulative and at times down right cruel
Nightmare, that was how my first relationship was and having hope they’d change back to the first person I was introduced to made me waste my time. That was a difficult learning experience for me because that type of person also will try to gaslight you too or try to make it up to you by temporarily acting like their kind.
Now I have to just automatically assume the worse just to not deal with that bs again if I notice a similar scenario.
I got loved bombed by a guy when I separated from my husband. I didn’t realize at the time I was vulnerable. He wasn’t good looking at all I wasn’t physically attracted to him at first but I fell for him because of all the compliments and kindness. He told an incredible pack of lies designed to evoke emotional responses from me. He was a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Once I let him know I wanted nothing more to do with him he became beyond obnoxious and even tried tactics to get revenge on me. All because I didn’t want to be with him. Telling me how I ruined his life etc even though it was only over a few months. Beware of love bombing.
First he started verbally abusing and gaslighting me. I saw through his game so it didnt work. It ended with him beating me up and acting as if I beat HIM up. He’s a few heads bigger than me and a gymrat so I could never physycally overpower him to beat him up in the first place. I wish I never met him and never gave him the time of day. 😵💫
He was always very polite. But a few months into dating, he revealed some very misogynistic views and couldn’t seem to understand why I would have a problem with that. I dumped him about a week later, and we’ve never spoken since. Since then, I’ve also avoided all conservative men, no matter how “nice” they initially appear to be.
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As said in the comments, *men do this a lot.* They win you over and make you fall in love with them then turn the tables once you’re too far gone to just walk away. (Not saying women don’t do this as well, because they absolutely do.) I’ve been in relationships with people who were verbally/psychologically/emotionally abusive after they initially were so wonderful, never upset me, said all the right things, said they wanted a future with me, etc. Then once it was clear I loved them, they flipped the switch. I would excuse the bad behavior and hold on to the things they said before they flipped the switch. I would tell myself they really did love me, just maybe they had a bad day and it was my fault for adding stress or that I shouldn’t expect them to be perfect, etc. I was even in a relationship where I was afraid to leave the person, truly believing they would end their life if I did (I was 15 at the time). It resulted in having panics at LEAST once a day. I didn’t even notice the correlation until months after the relationship ended. Obviously that’s an extreme case, but there have absolutely been multiple instances – and it is common in general – where someone went from being seemingly “perfect” to treating you horribly once they knew how deeply you cared for them so they could take advantage of it.