Hey,
So it has been an year of long distance with me and my girl. Before the long distance we were perfect. I was more patient then since i was home and free. Her mood swings caused me trouble but i could somehow was able to ignore them and still give her love and assurance. She previously had trouble dealing with my past sex life.
When i went away for my studies i got busy and throughout my education i was in tremendous stress. She started demanding attention and making me feel guilty if i drank and passed out in any party which i got rarely a chance to do. If i spent time with someone else trying to socialize and make friends she cribbed a lot. She was home and free but yet she didn’t give me time but cold shoulder for not being available. She then started giving me more guilt of my past doings which really made me feel less confident and hurt my self esteem. Moreover i felt very anxious cz after that i used to have abusive thoughts and i controlled them a lot which eventually explode.
She used to abuse my family, my friends and i used to get very hurt by that. I never abused in front of her but then i also started screaming on calls and abusing her side of people for retaliation. I was at times not able to give her time bcz i had to study to which she used to say its my duty to give her time and not able to do so is making her life hell. We screamed and abuse each other a lot.
But eventually i made the choice to put everything else in the backseat and try to manage her with career. Which didn’t happen cz i had certain setbacks which weren’t my fault.
Now when i put everything aside for her, she went away and made groups of friends and went to parties and made herself busy. Then i started feeling she has given my place to others so i told her but she didn’t stop. Eventually, i started to feel insecure, stopped trusting her cz there were many boys and plus she never understood that i have my career but just demanded and our fights increased. Just a few weeks back the fights reduced. I ran after her a lot, lot of fights, lot of abuses and lot of blocking and unblocking.
I never left her side though even though i agree i abused her and she kinda never helped me and abused me as well.
Just few days ago she started to listen to me and be normal and supportive like she was but there’s still somethjng off.
I don’t know what this is but i do blame her for ruining my career cz i was doing well before she started demanding such things. My career was important cz im pretty much on my own and my parents can’t really help me.
How do i stop blaming her? Is this all normal? Will we be back to normal? What’s the future? Will love come again? And the understanding we lost in our way?
TL;DR long distance caused us to fight and loose a lot of underatanding, love and compatibility. What is the future of this? Will we be back to normal? Or better?
1 comment
From what you have written here it seems that neither of you really want to be in this relationship but don’t know how to get out. Once you’re reduced to blame, yelling and mistrust for a long time there’s very little hope of getting back to whatever ‘normal’ was. You’ve both changed and are in different stages of life than when you first got together. It’s ok to part ways if the relationship is no longer good for either of you.