I am currently a 25 year old bisexual male in a PhD program in a pretty small town. It’s hard to find people to date. I’m not allowed to date undergrads, most of my program is international and a lot came to America with spouses already, and the town outside the college is mostly families or meth heads. I’ve been on the apps and going out to bars and whatnot but nothing has materialized. I’m also skinnyfat and pretty broke. My friends keep telling me I should just work on myself and not to be so worried. However, it’s been 2 years since my last (and only) relationship, with a guy, and I feel like I’m getting to the age where it’s starting to get weird that I don’t have more experience.
This summer I’m going to be living with my parents to save money. The plus side is they live in a much bigger and cooler city, but I feel like it’s going to be a struggle still.
Honestly considering dropping out of my PhD program over this, since by the time I finish I’m going to be 28 or 29 and if things keep going the way they’re going, I’m going to be in the same position then, but even worse. My dad told me to tough it out because once I’m older and making money women will like me, but I’m not so optimistic.
Part of me wants to just quit looking, go to the gym and focus on graduating. But I feel like waiting any longer is just a bad idea. Do y’all have any thoughts?
3 comments
Looking for a relationship isn’t a full time job – I think if you’re going out and being assertive when opportunities arise, that’s fine? And you can keep going with your PhD? 29-30 is not too old to date… Cus there is no such thing.
I think that pursuing higher education is just a better upgrade for yourself overall. And 25 is still very young. You can still date with appropriate work-life balance. I’d suggest casually dating. That way you won’t have to invest so much of yourself and can give most of your time to your academics. And going to the gym is a plus. Take care of your health while improving your physique is always an attractive trait ladies admire.
Keep investing in yourself and it will pay dividends of all sorts.