It’s a friend I’ve known for a year. He sends a combination of Instagram, Twitter, and Tik Tok posts, but mostly Tik Tok where each video could be 30 seconds or 3 minutes long. He sends about 20 a day and even says something about each one, expecting me to reply to every single one.
It’s too much. It feels like a job. It’s also 50% things I’ve seen already and 25% things I have no interest in. I don’t know how to tell him, I don’t want him to feel bad. I feel like I’ve set a precedent of replying or at least acknowledging every single one so I feel bad just ignoring.
But I feel really smothered to the point where I want to turn off my notifications because seeing him send me 5 posts in a few minute span makes me want to throw my phone. I don’t know why it bothers me so much.
6 comments
Can you just mute the notifications then only respond when you feel like it? But if he’s sending through texts, then just ignore until you feel like it just don’t respond, it’s ok if you don’t respond.
It bothers you because you are afraid to set a boundary of not entertaining them all the time, and you think they will cut you off. But realize this. If you fail to assert your boundaries either through words or through actions, they will just simply take advantage of you.
You either can tell them to stop sharing too many posts or simply demonstrate your uncomfortability via actions by not responding to their shared posts. The latter will give them the hint.
Hi! I get the same thing on Instagram all the time from my friends, they’d be sending me like 5 reels a day but I don’t watch any of them and they don’t really take it personally, so he shouldn’t too and you’re not obligated to watch them.
Let him know it’s nice that he’s sending you them and you’re probably not going to watch most of them because you don’t have enough time or have other things to do which is a completely valid reason and he shouldn’t expect it either otherwise that can be really taxing
Something like “hey, i feel really happy you’re sending me these 🙂 i probably won’t watch every single one because I usually don’t have enough time/I’m kinda lazy so don’t take it personally. I really appreciate you sending these though,” this next part you can add if you’re okay with them sending it now that you’ve established your boundaries “you can keep sending them and I’d probably watch one or two if I get the time”
I was in the same situation, and I came across a post saying “when your friend sends you tiktoks to watch it’s like friend homework” which I sent to them. Then on another day I wrote damn that’s a lot of friend homework. I followed it up by explaining that I love them but having to see many videos is overwhelming for me.
Another thing is to just not respond to videos you don’t feel like watching, as another comment says. Otherwise they keep thinking that being sent so many posts is ok for you. And then you will also not see it as a chore because you know you have the option to ignore it.
Hey bud – fyi I’m trying to detox from social media a bit. I might not look at these or respond but it’s nothing personal. Text me if you want to hang out in real life I’m down.
That would be called the mute and block. It’s actually special buttons. You push one mutes them one blocks them. That’s how you take care of that since they’re sending you too many social medias