Hi, so my bf (M18) and I (F19) have been dating for about 3 months and over the summer he is going abroad for school and then is going travel around Europe alone. Even though he is super sweet and I really doubt he would cheat on me intentionally, I know that he is a horny drunk and he is a very light weight. This being said, I also I know I can’t control his actions when he goes away, and I can’t tell him to just not drink when he goes but I can’t help but feel uneasy.
(For context I have been cheated on before, twice, so it’s hard for me to trust my partners.)
I really don’t want to break things off but I also don’t want to be that crazy gf constantly checking in due to my own paranoia. I want him to have fun and live a little while he is away because I know he needs it, but I also don’t want to get hurt in the process. I have already told him to be mindful of his drinking but again I can’t control his actions. Considering the relationship also hasn’t been that long as well I don’t know him that well to judge what he would do.
If any of you have any advice on how to approach this or any tips to help my paranoia please let me know.
2 comments
Break up in full if you need a break for the summer.
You won’t be doing yourself any favours by taking a break.
If you broke up just to reconnect after summer. Now you’re talking about what happened during that break and adding new complications to the mix.
Being paranoid now, and finding out that he slept around on your break, will be throwing fuel onto the fire.
If you’re already expecting your relationship to fall apart because you’re LDR for 3 months, perhaps your relationship isn’t a great fit to begin with.
Either stay together and get through it, or break up completely.
I would break up with him, and say we can possibly reconnect in the fall. Not gonna lie, but summer’s at 18/19 are the times of your life to have fun with no worries and you will spend the summer in so much stress if he goes without you.
Enjoy your summer, but remember when you reconnect in the fall wether you were broken up or not it will still really hurt to find out he did anything or met anyone. Sometimes you have the right person, at the wrong time. And sometimes its just the wrong person. If its meant to be you two will find a way. Is it possible for you to join him at all? If he has hotel rooms it would be semi easy for you to tag along even just for partial time of the trip.