My roommate (F24) is copying my (F26) interests and personality and lying about not doing it when confronted.

I (F26) have been living with my roommate (F24) for over three years at this point, but knew her for five overall. We are good friends, but there are a lot of issues there. Last yearI noticed that she started copying me a lot, and it is REALLY bothering me, and I don’t know how to deal with it. And now she is gonna ruin my concert. I will elaborate.

It all started when she started buying the same clothes as me. First those were just things that looked similar to mine, then she started buying literally the same pieces as me. My style is not really mainstream, and her and me have very different styles too, so when she started copying my style it was blatantly obvious. All of a sudden she started thrifting too, and she even cut bangs two days after I did. All of that can be seen as trivial, and not a big deal, and I agree with that. But then it started to apply to other parts of my life.

Then she started liking the same things I do. She started pretending to like art (I am an art major), and I say “pretend”, because it is very obvious because I study it. She would pretend to know something but she obviously doesn’t if you dig a little deeper. Alright. Next thing, music. She started listening to the same bands as me, and I listen to a lot of metal so it was very weird. But she would not know the names of the albums or anything like that, so all very surface level. Alright

I made my peace with it, I really did, but this never seems to stop. She then suddenly became politically active, which she never was before, and seems to be worried about the same issues I care about. She now calls herself a feminist. Okay, that is great, but then.. She misinterprets a lot of things in feminism and clearly does not understand it at all. It bothers me on a deeper level, because she should not be as vocal as she is when she is so misinformed. Every time I tell her to not say something because it’s misinformation, she will fight with me, even though she knows I am very educated in gender and feminism studies. Alright.

Next, she started copying traits of my personality, like humour. She would like to say that she is very sarcastic, even though she is not sarcastic at all. Why say it at all? I don’t get it. Moreover, she now publicly says that she is a reader, even though she is not. I know she isn’t because I am, in fact, a reader, so it is very obvious to me. Alright.

Now this one.. Might seem just silly, but bare in mind that I’ve been bottling this up for a while.. Long story short, I booked a ticket for a concert of a band that I’ve been listening to since I was 15, so it means quite a lot to me. Like with other bands, she also adopted this one from me, but I was never too worried because it was obvious to me that she only listens to a few of their favourite songs and that is it. She is not what one would call a “fan”. Just trust me on this one, as silly and childish as it is of me, but I “tested” whether she knows more deep cut stuff from them. She doesn’t, that’s all that matters. For reference, I booked a ticket all the way in October, and I told her about it after the fact. In fact, I’ve been talking about it quite a few times over these months, I know this for sure. But then yesterday she suddenly texted me that she got a ticket for this band. I was a bit in shock but okay, I asked her which city she is going to, and she was surprised to hear that I am going as well?? So I confronted her that I told her a million times that I got this concert ticket, and she seemed to be surprised by the fact that I even like this band which drove me crazy because this is such a lie, I made it very obvious over the years that I like them. I have no idea why she is lying about this. Of course she is allowed to go to this concert, but it bothers me that she presented it to me in this manner, lying about not knowing I like the band, pretending as though she was the one to discover them. And to be frank, yes I am upset that she is going to this concert, because she is going to post it all over social media and get attention from MY friends who like the same music as ME. She only listens to a couple of their songs in the first place.

She does this a lot with other things. Example: Led Zeppelin. I consider myself quite a fan of them. I once expressed it, and she didn’t know what I was talking about, so she googled them in front of me because she didn’t know them. A few months later, she claims to have always known them and that she likes them too. Same with fashion. She will state that she has always dressed like this, even though I knew her for two years before we became friends, and she surely did not dress this way before she started getting it from me. At the same time she sees no problem with copying style, she says it looks different on different people. But no, it’s still my style and if she is dressing like this because of me, at least acknowledge it. Also, as mentioned I don’t dress mainstream, I’m alt and a little masc, she used to be the opposite.

I really don’t understand this behaviour. Is this something people do? I am struggling with this so much, because I hate when people lie even though they know that I know they’re lying? I am starting to think she will now change her sexuality too, and claim she’s always been this way.

This whole situation really killed my excitement for this concert. I wish I could confront her, but every time I do she just lies. One might ask why I care about this so much? I don’t know okay, but it bothers me sooo much.

tl;dr! My roommate copies my style. personality traits, and interests. All in a vary performative way, which is very obvious to me. Whenever I confront her from doing so, she lies about it and claims to have always liked those things. It drives me crazy. Is this normal?