I (m30) am in pretty good shape and have no problem chatting up women. I’ve had a few hookups in the last years, but anytime I try to push the relationship further it never pans out. I think this is due to my career. I make enough to support myself, but its nothing special compared to guys I’m competing with. No woman has never told me this straight up, but I feel it’s the main reason.
41 comments
The real question is you’re clearly insecure about it so why don’t you change it for yourself, and not just for women?
Not for me personally, but everyone is different I guess. It would really just be about finding someone whose values align with yours.
Do you have plans to do something else?
Yeah would be for a lotta women bro
It could be, depends on whether you’re pursuing any other passion projects/hobbies. People like it when prospective partners are working towards something concrete. Try looking I to hobbies like woodworking, painting, or something like that.
24f and yes. I’m a senior programmer tho so my standards are sky high though lol
If a guy made enough to support himself, liked his job enough to keep working there, and wasn’t expecting me to support him I wouldn’t care.
If you’re in a dead-end job, it’s time to switch career paths. Women do date men with potential. If you lack that, it’s definitely a deal breaker.
what is your occupation and how much you get paid by the hour?
Anyone who dislikes anybody working their ass off shouldn’t be dating.
It’ll probably be a turn off for many, but at the very least you have a job, which could be a turn-on for some.
Do you like your career?
Just reach out to them and ask them why. Dealbreakers are different for different people.
It depends. What goals do you have and will your income hinder you reaching them? I don’t care much about what someone does for a living, but if you have goals of owning a home, having children, traveling, etc. and your income does not support those goals, it’s probably time to push yourself in your career.
It probably is for a girl who is looking to be a tradwife or is only open to having a serious relationship which will involve raising a family/buying a property together.
A dead-end job is definitely going to be a deal breaker for a professionally and financially successful person who wants to date someone who maintains the same lifestyle as her – evenings and weeksend free, a couple vacations each year, nice gifts, nice restaurants, etc. Very few women are going to be willing to lower their standard of living to meet you where you are.
I know I’m a bit older than anybody else who’s commenting over here but if somebody’s able to support themselves and not asking anything of me. For all good.
If you’ve been working the same dead end job for years, why haven’t you tried to do better for yourself?
I typically don’t care about how much a man earns, but I care about who he is. If you are doing something that’s dead-end and you have no motivation or will to change that, I’d be worried about that.
No it’s a norm
Mmm it’s only a dealbreaker if you’re not trying to better yourself/trying to get a better job.
I think it’s like most anything in life.
You can have quality that attract a wider range of women and therefore your chances increase.
Or your qualities May attract a smaller number of women which means you still have a chance but you just have to possibly spend more time looking or be more specific
For example if you find a woman who is willing to work while being in a relationship and a marriage with you then the both of you together may have a decent income to live and survive and even raise a family in some way or other.
There are plenty of couples who do this
But if you end up with somebody who is wanting to not work and have you be the primary wage earner, and raise a family on that income, then she probably won’t be staying with you that long, since she needs somebody else.
Hmm it could be. I mean maybe you should ask some close female friends and/or relatives about the situation and see what they think. But yeah if things seem to go really well until you share your career/job, then it could be a limiting factor for you. You might want to look into other careers that you might enjoy that would be more lucrative. But I think you should do it to better yourself (not just to increase your numbers for potential dates)
Not for me personally. If you’re making enough for yourself that’s fine with me because I’m also out here trying to make enough for myself. I’m honestly okay with me earning more than my partner as long as they’re not the type to slack off and be extremely dependent.
Personally for me it is a deal break. I was with someone who worked dead end jobs or just didn’t want to work, only travel. I am career driven and felt it brought me down
Depends what “dead end” means and who you want to date. Being wealthy isn’t important to me but being financially stable is very important. If you’re choosing to stay in a job where you’re barely scraping by and a medical emergency or car trouble is something you can’t absorb, that would be a problem for me. If you think spending money on fresh veggies is spendthrift, we’re not a match. If you’re a little more stable than that but want kids, I’d be worried. If you’re looking to date women who spend a lot of money on their appearance, travel, or anything else, you’re probably right that it’s a problem.
If none of that rings true, I’d consider your emotional intelligence/housekeeping, two things that are a lot more important in a sustained relationship than a hookup.
How much USD salary do you make per year if you don’t mind saying?
Questions like this are weird. Generalizations are essentially useless. If you consider the dating market as a “competition of men” you’re probably losing there. It’s not a competition when you meet someone who like you for you.
If I want kids? Yes
If you make enough to support yourself and don’t expect her to support you, and you love your job then I think you may just need to change up where you are looking for dates.
Well, money is the number one cause for divorce or breakup. Getting into a relationship or marrying a guy who doesn’t have savings is a nail in the coffin for a girl who is in a similar situation. Forget kids cause that will just make it worse. Women who do well in life or have ambition will most likely want a guy who does better or in the same salary bracket as her. if she just wants a hook up looks, cock and skills in bed is all that matter. It’s harsh but true.
For me personally, being career driven and motivated is a must. I also want to retire early and to have a partner with similar goals. Everyone is different though. If you enjoy your lifestyle keep it and you’ll find the right person to fit that lifestyle.
Do you like the job? Does it make you feel fulfilled? Are you completely satisfied with the quality of life the job provides you with?
If the answer to those is yes, then it’s fine. I would rather my partner make less money and be happy.
But if the job makes you miserable and no money, then it would bother me.
Yes unless you have a vision to improve for the future. No one wants to be with someone who has no ambition to better themselves.
I think it depends. I think a career isn’t everything. If you have other things you are passionate about and you can support yourself then that’s something different than you have a job that you make ends meet and you don’t do anything else. IMO.
The deal breaker would be not having a plan to get out of the dead end job. She doesn’t want to marry someone, only for him to still be working 3rd shift at 7-11 when he’s 45.
For me it wouldn’t be about the dead end job you were in so much as whether you were content to stay that way. If it is just a stepping stone, ok, everyone has those. If this job is where you plan to remain and have no ambition to better yourself and your life, that would be an issue for me. (35F)
For me it wouldn’t be about the dead end job you were in so much as whether you were content to stay that way. If it is just a stepping stone, ok, everyone has those. If this job is where you plan to remain and have no ambition to better yourself and your life, that would be an issue for me. (35F)
For me it wouldn’t be about the dead end job you were in so much as whether you were content to stay that way. If it is just a stepping stone, ok, everyone has those. If this job is where you plan to remain and have no ambition to better yourself and your life, that would be an issue for me. (35F)
I married my ex husband in one at 32.
Depends. Financially? Not an issue. It would only bother me if you were stuck at a job you hated because eventually resentment would spill over into your relationship. But if you liked your job but there study no room to advance, then no, not a deal-breaker.
Met a guy through online dating who worked 25 hours per week at an Amazon warehouse loading and unloading the trucks. He bragged about not needing to do anything more to support himself comfortably and seemed to think he had life figured out. When I told him I didn’t think we’d be compatible, he called me a dumb, judgmental bitch. Sigh.
Always work to improve yourself. Quality women will be doing the same and will expect that in a partner.