at the start of our relationship (3 months ago) we obv talked abt the sex situation for both of us and we came to a consensus (both ace). but we’d agreed that we’d still be open to sex.
at that time, he already said smth along the lines of „girls usually arent into masturbation anyway“.
usually, i’m the one who initiates sex, since i like the intimacy and since i’m kind of curious (first heterosexual relationship). he laughingly makes comments abt how i’m definitely not ace bc of it. i don’t object bc he does have a point, but it does kinda make me feel bad.
how do i handle the situation?
(as a sidenote, i’m not 100% certain that i’m ace; maybe i just have a very low libido. but i know for certain that i dont feel anything special except the closeness when it comes to sex. )
tl;dr. bf and me are both ace, but i like to initiate sex sometimes. he says i’m not ace.
2 comments
Let him know that he doesn’t get to define your sexuality for you, that it’s disrespectful and you’d like him to stop it.
Sexuality, including asexuality, is a spectrum. There are so many ways to be ace. He’s being an asshole