At 26, talking to someone in their 40’s feels intimidating at times. Like they’re more of an adult than I am. Does this feeling still happen into your 30’s?

26 comments
  1. I am 60 and meet weekly with men in their late 70’s and 80’s.

    I have come to realize through the years that there is a lot to learn from men who have gone before me so no matter how old I am I always seek out men to meet with who are older than me.

    Through the years there are times where I have felt intimidated but I pressed through and benefited from it.

    Having said that, I am not meeting with Aholes or grown boys. I have purposely sought out men of character to meet with.

    Make sure you are not intimidated because they want you to be. If they are – distance if possible. If they are not – try to stay in the conversation and glean what you can from the interaction.

  2. I used to think this upuntil now (35). But I see more and more how we’re all lost and confused. Hoping for the best planing for the worst. When I look at my parents who are now close to 70 I see the fragileness of life and how everyone is scared to make big life changing decisions.

    Just take advice from everyone. Good or bad.

  3. I’m mid 30s and no, not anymore. I still think some people older than myself have experiences I can learn from, but at this point there’s plenty of people my age and younger that have their shit together. I value that a lot more than age, and so now everyone is just folks.

  4. I’ve never felt like people in my age range actually in my age range when I sized them up.

    After talking to them and getting to know them it seems, a little different.

    In an unrelated way, I’ve always looked about 5 years younger so people feel similar about me.

    But I always felt like people my age were typically more elevated age wise than me, somehow

  5. nope, everyone seems younger than me to me, even old people. they annoy the shit out of me tbh

  6. It is only intimidating to me when you come across people with strong character. The kind that you aspire to be one day.

    But I also believe that not everyone grows into that elder role. Some people are just older people with the same problems you have.

  7. Not anymore. At least not by default. I’ve met a lot of dumb or shitty older people that I guess caused the intimidating effect to ware off. We’re all just winging it.

    I do try to learn from those with more experience in things I’m interested. But age isn’t all there is to wisdom.

  8. No. I’ve been around long enough to have met a lot of shitty, older people who are childish and stupid.
    Some older people are great and you can learn a lot from them, but it’s not a one size fits all thing.

  9. Yes. Oftentimes I forget that I’m an ‘adult’ adult. Like, I’m 30 already (damn!) But sometimes I see people younger than me that’s doing something responsible and feel like they’re more mature or more adult than me 😅

  10. It’s weird seeing how many people around my age (mid 30s) seem to share a common sentiment, that we don’t mind spending time with people a good bit older or sometimes younger than us. It’s more about the quality of the person than the age.

    I had a guy in his 70’s that I know from the gym come over for dinner. We had a great time, mostly him telling me stories from his early adult years.

  11. I know people younger than me that feel more “adult” than I am.

    Edit: I also know people older than me who are more childish.

  12. I’m super old and most of the people I meet that are 10 years younger than me have their shit together more than I do, which feels worse than being intimidated by older people

  13. you’re 26, so you’ve been an adult for 8 years. someone who is 40 has been an adult for 22 years. you can compare those ages with the school of life, you’re in 3rd grade, and they’re graduating college. how you feel totally makes sense because they have a lot more experience than you.

    i’m almost 40 and i’m close with 2 people in their 60’s and 1 person who just turned 80. we’re vulnerable with each other, and i know their difficulties/obstacles. i see them as equals. sure they have a lot more recovery than me, and they’re able to provide feedback but i have my own strengths and they find my feedback just as helpful.

  14. Always. Hell, because of my lack of life experience, I’ve started feeling like people who are *younger* than me, in their mid twenties to early thirties, are more adult than I am. In several ways I just stopped growing as a person in my early twenties and it’s a weird feeling talking to someone ten years younger who seemingly has it all together.

  15. No. My dads in his 60s and he’s a damn child. My mother isn’t much better but my step dad is like a sage wise man so, age doesn’t seem to mean much

  16. Ha hell no. I feel like more adult people are more adult than me, but there are a lot of old people who act like kids or who are less developed than me.

  17. Quite the opposite.

    The amount of significantly older people that I’ve seen fumble the ball when in charge is staggering. In the government and in companies.

  18. Not more adult in the sense of maturity, but with some people, they are in positions of greater responsibility/authority or have a greater breadth of accomplishments and it can leave an impression. But I’ve also met younger people who have started and launched companies, etc. Your character speaks more than simple age.

    However at 26 I definitely felt like someone in their 40s was more adult.

  19. I’m 41, and I still don’t feel like an adult some of the time.

  20. There was a book recently-ish called Adulting, about how nobody ever feels like an adult, we just do the adult stuff we gotta do when we gotta. As an example, they asked the head of the American Pediatric Association, a parent and doctor who tells other parents and doctors what to tell other parents and doctors, if he feels like a grownup, and he was like *oh hell no!*

  21. Yes it does. Youll feel it too. Im almost 30. I can feel the difference when i talk to successful people in their 40s and 50s.

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