Hi everyone, I need a bit of advice, since I (25M) am pretty new to dating in general. Yesterday I had my first date with a young woman (28F), and it went well, too well I would even say.
I’m a pretty shy guy, and I am not very physical with people I just met (or even generally I’m not touchy). She was the polar opposite. She wanted to hold hands after one hour from the moment we met, asked if I was in a relationship before (and I replied “No”) and kissed me on my lips. We made a bit out, but I was a bit uncomfortable (since kissing was aleeady new to me). Since I’m new to dating, I accepted her advances but wasn’t 100% sure about it. We did it three times during the afternoon.
There were times where I had the feeling she wanted also to move too fast (for a first date). She already talked about spending a night at her appartment (and do stuff), to travel together, etc.
Since then, I have had doubts and a strange gut feeling. I’m a guy who needs time to get accustomed to these things. But she is very direct, touchy, and I’m not that physically attracted to her (even though that may change with time).
So my question is, am I out of touch with reality? Is it somehow anxiety that keeps me at bay? Is she moving too fast or am I too awkward to handle these situations?
3 comments
Holding hands within an hour of meeting is insane to me. I’d also feel pretty uncomfortable swapping spit with a complete stranger. Be upfront and tell her you want to take things slow…very slow. And just get to know each other. If you aren’t attracted to her though I don’t think it’s worth continuing on (on top of the other things you mentioned).
Sure she’s not an escort? I’ve never heard of a woman escalating like that on a date
Communicate that you are a guy who needs time to get accustomed to these things. Hold her accountable to that boundary and proceed based on whether or not she’s able to maintain it.