What’s the ONE biggest lesson you’ve learnt from being in a healthy romantic relationship?

17 comments

1. That it started with me having a healthy relationship with myself. Trying to do that while you’re in a relationship is like trying to fix an airplane while you’re flying it. Sort your shit out first, then add other people.

2. A good relationship is a partnership, not an adversarial relationship.

3. She likes to brag about you to other women, so do something worth bragging about.

4. That relationships are supposed to be easy.

5. 1. If you don’t love yourself how do you expect others to?
   2. Every relationship requires some level of compromise and negotiation. Successful ones do it best.
   3. Perfection does not exist.

6. The grass is greener where you water it.

   If you do not put in the work and remain committed to making it work, you will never have a lasting relationship. You may make it 10 years or more, but if you don’t build the foundation when things are good and easy, you will undoubtedly falter when things are hard.

   It took nearly being served divorce papers in year 9 before I truly learned this. I knew the words, but I didn’t truly understand.

   Just know that a true partnership will not always be sunshine, rainbows, and butterflies. You will have moments where you do not even want to be in the same room as the person, but as long as you understand that love is choice and you choose to love and honor your partner, you will be okay.

7. My old guy perspective from having seen a lot of stuff personally and thru friends and coworkers is people learn the most from crashing and burning relationships, not from merely being in unusually healthy ones.

   Let me think… back when I was 17 I found out the hard way if you’re pissed off at someone, there’s no need to hurry up and tell her. Ya got the rest of your lives together or the rest of your relationship together anyway. But I was young and dumb and in a huge hurry to make the point that she was a huge jerk the previous weekend, then it all melted down. You don’t get a medal for being in a hurry to yell at someone. That’s the bright side of stupid teenage love, you make most of your dumb mistakes when you’re young enough to recover and benefit a lot.

8. You guys are in healthy romantic relationships?!

9. Always look for the 4H girls

   * Hot
   * Healthy
   * Happy
   * Horny

   If she checks those 4 boxes, she’s a keeper

10. Being able to unashamedly communicate your feelings is the best feeling.

11. That if they do not make you a priority they don’t care about you.

12. That you need to be in the right headspace for a relationship to really work. I may have not been the only problem in my prior relationships but I was definitely a problem. I was still running from my fucked up childhood instead of trying to get past it. You can’t have a healthy relationship when you are running, even if that’s what you want.

13. It’s easy when they like you and aren’t stupid

14. You don’t have to fight. You don’t have to argue. You never have to raise your voice or be manipulative. You can choose to communicate anything, even the difficult things, in a productive, calm, loving way.

    My girlfriend and I have been together over five years now. And we haven’t had so much as a squabble.

15. That it’s possible to be in a relationship and never yell at each other.

16. You have to learn to just let some things go. Don’t argue over petty crap.

    If you stop somewhere for a snack, get her something too.

    Whatever you did to get her, you have to keep doing those things if you want to keep her. Never stop.

    Communicate

17. I’m a women that been with a man a long time .
    Men don’t always communicate with words, I’ve learned to read facial expression, body language, voice tones. I’ve learned when to speak up and when to stay quiet. And alway be available to listen, in his time .