When was a time you made a hard decision in favor of yourself?

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1. Currently deciding to move across country for a job in a hospital off a branch of my dream school Johns Hopkins

2. I cut off all of my friends, because I realised having friendships no longer brought me happiness or energy, only the opposite. I still cared deeply about all of them and they hadn’t wronged me in any way, so it still wasn’t an easy decision to go through with, but I’m so happy I did. I find myself being more relaxed and nowhere near as anxious or annoyed in my everyday life. Having time and energy for me and what I love while keeping my social relations on a shallow, obligation-free level has done so much good for me.

3. Moving to the other side of the world and ending my long term a year after.

   I’ve never felt freer and happier.

4. Cutting someone off

5. Done this many times in my life, and every time it’s been worth it. Went far away for college so I could develop as my own person away from my parents. Moved to another country after college to experience a different culture and explore my career options. Later in life moving from NYC to LA to help with my long-term career development. Coming out as transgender. Figuring out I was polyamorous and divorcing. Quitting a high paying job to take my career in a direction where I’d be happy and fulfilled.

   Only regrets I’ve ever had was not acting earlier on some of these.

6. Broke it off with my 1 1/2 year relationship. I couldn’t stop the recent anxiety and tightness in my chest whenever he has been around me. He didn’t do anything wrong to me, I just had this overwhelming feeling that I needed to be alone.

7. Leaving my previous employer for my current one.

   My previous employer had excellent benefits (401k, 100% tuition reimbursement, plenty of PTO, etc.). The job itself was exhausting. I found myself burned out and depressed after hours from back-to-calls all day. My manager used coaching to nitpick over things out of my control. Everything was telling me to go even though the benefits I got seemed worth it.

   It was heartbreaking, but I left them to work for my new employer. I lost nearly all benefits, but my mental and emotional health have improved. I have such deep respect for my boss, who goes above and beyond. It was uncomfortable at first, but it’s been worth it in the end.

8. Getting out of the military. Yes, I was close to getting retirement pay but it was not worth it in the end.

   It wound up being the best decision I ever made for my physical health, mental health, personal relationships, and even my finances. I stayed in longer than I should have but I can’t undo time.

9. I’ve been standing up for myself a lot more recently even though it’s creating waves in my friendships. I’m tired of being treated poorly just because people in my friend group want to appease those with stronger opinions. Essentially cutting-out friends and knowing it’s going to bring a lot of awkward situations is hard, but it’s time to grow a backbone. I have plenty of other people in my life who don’t treat me like that and I can find plenty of new ones who won’t as well.

10. Just left my job. Both of my parents died and I couldn’t handle the job stress, it was too much. If it was a relaxed and quiet job, sure, but working with kids and people all day was too much. I quit to give myself time to grieve, to focus on moving, to sort out mine and my parents affairs, and to have time to relax and enjoy my life a bit for a few months.

11. A month ago, I decided it was time to start therapy again. On Sunday, I decided it was time to stop drinking, and today, I finally accepted that I needed to take something for my anxiety.

    For some, these decisions might be easier, but it took me months to admit that I needed help and many more moths just to reach out for it.

12. Today. I decided to leave the United States. Their inability to protect me gave me no other choice.

13. Divorcing my second husband.

14. Both of them. I ended a long term relationship and then moved across country over 10 years ago. I’m glad I did both of those. I’m in a very happy relationship now and a whole new career. I don’t regret my decision.

15. When I had to break up with my LT partner..Not that I wanted to but she is and was unfaithful so I had 0 choice. Doesn’t feel like a favor at all though. More like a damnnation to my soul😪😪😪😪

16. I’m going to buy a house. It may be the worst thing I’ve ever done or it may be the best, but for once I’m doing what I want instead of playing it perfectly safe all the time.

17. I went NC with my mom back in December. 95% of the time I don’t even think about it. Now that I’m not “taking care” of her, I had the courage to go after a Fellowship and I got it! I go to DC in about 6 weeks. If she was still in my life, I’d never leave. My decision to go NC also saved my marriage. My husband is Indian, and my future children will be half-Indian. Her racist comments got so severe, that at the end she told me he’d beat me because “that’s what they do.” My husband is my BIGGEST cheerleader and supporter. I’m in school and during finals, he’ll take on almost all of the housework and shopping. He does more than his fair share during the rest of the semester. Without him, I could not feasibly achieve my goals on my own. With him, I feel like I can conquer the world. I’ve never been happier or more confident. I realized she was also the root of a lot of my self-esteem issues. The more I achieved, the more bitter she got. But yeah, it was singularly the hardest thing I’ve ever done.

18. quitting weed, cutting people off associated with weed and who generally didn’t support me. going on medication for depression and anxiety. i’d rather be alone and sad than sad and unsatisfied with relationships that no longer serve me.

    also stepping outside of my comfort zone. i used to not want to go out because i didn’t want to go alone. but having something to look forward to helps. i don’t want to kill myself when i know i’m going to see modest mouse and peach pit later this year lol

19. I kept the baby.

    my ex was devastated to discover I was pregnant. called me every name in the book, including calling my kiddo a bastard child and swearing he would never love it or me anymore if I kept it. demanded I get an abortion and threatened me physically a number of times.

    on top of that, I had been talking with an air force recruiter and actually the day they called me to tell me when to show up for the physical was the day I found out I was pregnant.

    I wouldn’t go back and change what happened even knowing what I know now. kiddo is 9. happy, healthy, and has been such a joy to raise. I love being a mom, even on my worst days. 💖

20. I got permanent sterilization after the Dobbs decision. My husband has been dragging his feet on getting snipped for years. I decided to stop waiting for him.

    Recently, I started feeling a bit of remorse that I will never experience the baby stage again. Today, I decided to use my fabric stash to make wraps, diapers, gowns, and hats for parents of preemies and stillborns.

    I’ve also decided to do a MAJOR declutter/purge in our house. I’m stripping us back down to the important stuff by asking myself, “If we were moving to a different country, would this item be worth packing?” The emotional baggage oqf dealing with our crap is surprisingly dense.

21. I’m going through this right now. About two weeks ago, I told my husband of almost 10 years that I wanted a divorce. It was the hardest decision to make, but it was finally time to put myself first after taking care of my family (husband and child) for the past 6 years. Ending our 12 year relationship is difficult, but I’m excited about the future, finding myself again, and being the best and happiest mom to our child.

22. When I started therapy recently. I tried really hard to figure out my issues myself but it only made it worse.

23. Oh man so many. Sobriety. Leaving a serious relationship. But the most fruitful have been moving to new places. I left NYC last year to digital nomad and it’s been an insane change. Impacted me in that I’ve had the chance to visit friends and family and reinvest in those relationships

24. Several instances of cutting off friends where they treated me badly yet expected me to treat them well all the time.

    A very recent case: My MIL serves as childcare for my toddler daughter. I have a hybrid job for 30 hours a week that is not super flexible as it serves the public and I cannot consistently change my hours last minute as I have to be available during traditional working hours. My SIL who lives 2 hours away (who also told my MIL to not live near her after my MIL retired when I was pregnant, as she said she didnt want her to be near her permanently, jeez) had a baby recently. My MIL has several times recently not showed up for childcare on Mondays (she goes to my SIL’s house on the weekends) and tells me at the last minute Sunday night (I know its my SIL and not her). After the 4th time of this (each time with her saying its the last time), I asked my MIL if I need to try to change my work schedule permanently to start later on Mondays (I am treading on thin ice repeatedly asking to change my hours last minute on Mondays but I could possibly ask for a permanent change) and explain I do not have a job where I can work whenever I want when I want. Now my SIL and MIL are pissed at me and think Im selfish, because I dont have a WFH job that they think I have and I am concerned about my job. My husband stuck up for me (in fact he warned me my SIL would just do it every Monday after the 1st time) but Im apparently still selfish. Im glad I set that boundary though

25. Letting go of work—turning down prestigious career opportunities and letting projects fail because I needed to accept that I had a disability and needed to learn how to live with it. I have a much better quality of life now.

26. Leaving my friend group, when I was first with them, they got me out of a tough spot and they were like a family to me. They helped me through my depression and PTSD.

    But eventually it was not meant to last forever when I feel like the problem burdening my group with my former toxic relationship with someone in the group and also not feeling seen or comfortable when issues started going around that would eventually begin my depression and panic attacks again.

    After seeing the true colors of my ex and several other “friends” after I had my last panic attack, I’ve decided to leave but remained in contact with my closer friends.

    It’s been a little over a year now since I’ve left, I still have my best friend and good friend, I even gained another unexpectedly since he seems to really understand what I went through. I’m still in touch with three friends from my former group while the rest kinda drifted away from me or the group. I made a few new friends and they seem to be good people too.

    It’s been a little over a year since I had my last panic attack and left the group. I’m doing a lot better mentally, although I feel emotionally numb but as long I keep myself busy and surround myself with healthy relationships, I should be okay.

27. I finally pushed my pride and fear aside – admitting to myself that I need to get tested/assessed for ADHD. My appointment is in two days. Been waiting since January. New things are coming!

28. Left partner of 8 yrs. Had 6 yrs living together 2 yrs long distance. In the end I was absolutely fed up with the dynamic, it wasn’t working and drained the life out of me. It held me back and I reclaimed my power and autonomy. Im glad 🙂

29. Broke off an abusive relationship after it got physical for the first time. We were in high school (10-11th grade I think) and walking down the hallway, I jokingly grabbed a paper out of his hand and it accidentally tore, he then “jokingly” grabbed my neck and arm and shoved me against the wall. I remember my arm hitting something and the pain was bad. I think in that moment my mind and body became conscious and the rose colored glasses came off. He tried to make me apologize to him (ha!). Looking back on that relationship I can’t believe I let myself be treated that way. Fast forward almost 10 years later and I’ve met the most amazing person who loves me and has always made me feel safe ♥️ my husband and I will be celebrating 7 years together. Walking away from that my abusive ex who I thought was “the one” was the most painful yet best decision I’ve ever made.

30. Had to leave a relationship I didn’t want to because my partner didn’t recognize what he was doing to me was emotional manipulation during conflict. I had to do it because I felt very disrespected and I knew the relationship wouldn’t be the same as before.

31. Left a guy who’s treated me better than all previous relationships because we aren’t on the same path. Like each other. Want to be together. Don’t want the same things in the long run. It sucks and it hurts. I know it’s what needed to happen though.

32. I left my ex for someone else and moved across the country and it reduced my stress so much. I’m so much happier.

33. [removed]

34. I finally decided I was worth it and checked myself into rehab eight days ago. So far, so good.

35. Working less hours at my job. I love my job. I love being there. But my mental health was suffering and I was getting cold after cold.

36. Just left a long term relationship because I felt we weren’t compatible and I was playing too much of the mom role. We live together, it’s not easy at all but I’m trying to hold on to my decision because ultimately I know it’s the best decision for both of us

37. When I transferred for work, and moved to a different state all by myself. I was tired of being the peacemaker for my family and never doing anything for myself.

38. Going no contact with someone. Unfortunately it only lasted a year and I caved one day and replied to a text. Not exactly back where I started when I decided to go no contact but definitely not where I want to be.