This is my first real relationship we’ve been together for almost 10 months. We’re a year apart in age and both in our late teens. I love this man to death and lately its been feeling like we argue everyday over little stupid things. I grew up in a very unstable house hold both my parents never really loved each other they are both physically and emotionally abusive towards each other and made sure that me and my siblings were always there to witness and take sides in their arguments. I feel like I don’t know how to love without arguing because of it. Ik people who love each other aren’t supposed to argue about every little thing but I dont know where I should start on fixing myself. (I cant afford therapy) also my bf said he used to argue every day with his ex cause she would always get upset with him about everything and thats why he fell out of love with her. I’m scared that I’m next I don’t want to lose him he’s literally perfect this is our only issue. I’m just looking for advice on how to become a better person for the sake of our relationship and future.
TL;DR
I’m scared my bf of 10 months is going to leave because we argue everyday. I’m looking for any advice on how to stop arguing over little things and to learn to unlearn my toxic traits causing said issue.
3 comments
Take active steps to try to work on yourself, read some psychology books, deal head on with your wounds and childhood traumas. When you have a healthy mindset, you see no need to pick fights or get upset about small shit and more patience. I only dabble so I couldn’t really tell you where to start, but, that’s what worked for me. I did a lot of therapy in addition as well though.
If you are constantly fighting, he’s not literally perfect. You seem to think the problem is only you. It’s not. He shares in all the problems. You are young, and the thought of being single is probably uncomfortable, but it will be better for you to be single than to be in this toxic relationship. Then you can work on yourself and find someone who brings positivity to your life.
Pursue peace for the rest of your life. Restore the peace when it is lost. State your beliefs once. Do not engage in arguments. Resist your own poor behavior that contributes.