She has told me many times she wants me to spit on her/in her mouth and slap her while we’re having sex. While I know this is something I’d be veryyyy into, I’m having trouble getting the ball rolling.

She quote wants me to “domestically abuse this pussy boi😭”

Any tips?

7 comments

  1. You can ask her to slap you as hard as she wants to be slapped and then go off that. Probably good idea have a safe word and discuss boundaries.

  2. Start off with a discussion about boundaries and agree on either a safeword or the traffic-light system (red=stop, yellow=take a break, green=full speed ahead) if you haven’t already. I prefer the light system, myself. When you first start off, check on her often. Sounds like she’s had experience being roughed up so don’t be afraid to ask her exactly how she likes things, or ask her beforehand to give you full instructions if you feel weird for repeatedly checking. I like the suggestion of letting her slap you to show you about how hard she wants it. That’s a good idea as long as you can take a hit.

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    *edited for clarity

  5. Start by introducing things like spanking. It’s kind of like slapping, you’re still using the palm of your hand. You’re new to this so it’s unrealistic for her to expect you to come out of the gate already a master of this kind of thing but, to her credit, she has given you specifics that she wants, unlike a lot of posts like this where the partner has simply asked for “more kink” which is so terribly vague. You at least know the kind of thing she will enjoy. Set it up as a role play at first, if you have to and are struggling to get in that mindset, if you can be playing a character it might make it easier for you to slip into that frame of mind. Be sure to set up a safe word and ensure aftercare is in place that both of you can request if needed (this includes you, if you need it to be sure you haven’t done anything too much, she can be the one to reassure you).

    Of course, if you give it a try and ultimately decide that that’s not for you, then that is perfectly valid and you will need to be honest about this and see if she will be Ok only going as far as you are comfortable.

  6. There are links in the Wiki to web sites that discover new things but I found them kind of lacking so I made a site for my wife and I, [Sexy Time is Fun!](https://www.sexytimeisfun.com).

    The gist is you get a long list of sex acts and sex positions and mark what you like, what your dont like and what youre meh about. Then your partner does the same and then you’ll get a list of all your matches. That list is used to shuffle acts to try, or make a sexy menu for the night, or to make sex coupons. So this way you two can discover new things and not feel put on the spot or judged or anything with your differences.

    It’s still very fragile and very much in beta but give it a shot.

  7. ask for her limits and after that decide what u could do. with my gf I use sexting, because of reasons, and she describes what she want

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