Hi guys. Hope you’re all doing well.
I’m 29 (m) and have had 2 relationships. One spanning from age 19- 24 and one spanning from 28 until present (nearly 30).
I have had many casual partners/flings before and in between these relationships. Somewhere around 100. (To give to some background)
The 2 girls I have been with long term I have been very selective and patient in commitment, and truly believed that they are wife / life material and that there could be something really long term. But as I approach the 2 year mark with my current girlfriend I find myself retreating, becoming less attentive and affectionate, and starting to second guess the relationship and my desires. There is no real issues in the relationship right now and I believe we are both happy. These thoughts are internal as it stands.
Issue is that I know I love this woman, I know she’d be a great mother and I trust her whole heartedly amongst plenty of other awesome attributes she has. I could go on all day.
I also see the same pattern with my ex with regards to my feelings after 18 months 2 years. And the same belief that she was a ‘keeper’ – I ended up breaking it off but after way too long.
I’m now approaching 30 and am so conflicted in my feelings. Does anyone else get cold feet each time a relationship reaches a certain benchmark? It’s easy to say ‘if you feel like this then break it off asap’ .. but is that really only way?
Is there a struggle I can/must push through?
Can anyone give me any advice? Thank you
1 comment
The two year mark is a time where the luster of a “new” relationship wears off and you begin to have to seriously consider whether you can spend an entire life with your partner. That can put a lot of stress on top of a relationship, even if things are going very well.
If you feel that it’s a repeated pattern that you would not like to continue, it may be prudent to speak to a therapist to see if there’s anything else at play that’s making you want to walk away from an otherwise healthy and happy relationship.