I’ll (21M) maybe meet my ex (21F) tomorrow night after a birthday party close to my home. I haven’t seen her since we broke up.
We broke up a month ago, add another month to that when we were one step from breaking up, so technically 2 months of this, we just officially broke up a month ago.
We both agreed on staying friends with maybe an open door to a relationship someday if it’s meant to be or if it feels right.
A few weeks ago we had an emotional night texting, where we both wished luck to each other, she kept saying that if she won’t be lucky to have me then my next one will be very lucky. That night the connection was like in our best days of the relationship and she even told me she loves me. She asked me if I will be free after she comes late at night from that party. The next day she showed me her outfit she’ll wear, sent me that day’s “one year ago” with us from snapchat.But the connection went out progressively, to the point where a week ago my puppy died, which I’ve gotten from her, and she loved her a lot too. Just as well as it broke me losing my puppy, it surely hurt her too. We barely talked after that (we texted daily since the breakup, we both checked up on each other).
Yesterday I asked her if she’d be alright with meeting me after the party, she said that she doesn’t know for sure, she doesn’t know when she’ll leave the party either. I told her that it’s no problem, I’ll stay up and you can text me if you want to meet up.
I accepted, understood and respected her decision of breaking up. Made her also feel understood, heard and not judged by why she felt like ending it. She broke my heart with it, but I had my mistakes, took her involuntarily for granted, they weren’t deal breakers but they added up and I didn’t notice them either. And we also had a pretty ugly fight which sparked that month of almost breaking up that I mentioned.
I know I’ve changed and I still do, I reflected upon myself and still to this day I’m working on myself, at least for myself.
Any advice what I should do tomorrow if she’ll agree to meet up?
I just want to have some quality time with her, to make her feel that if she’s going out meet with me she doesn’t have to deal with me begging, because i’ve done it once right at the beginning.
I don’t want to put any more pressure on her, I know 1 month, be it 2 with that month isn’t that much, especially for her when she needs to heal.
But I do want her back someday…and i’ll be glad even if we just hang out casually tomorrow for half an hour and make a little bit of progress.
TL:DR Ex broke up with me and tomorrow maybe we’ll meet up late at night after a party if she’s ok with it, and i’m unsure of how and what should I do.
2 comments
Be yourself, be friendly, and be polite – no matter what is said or done. From the sound of things, you broke up amicably so other than the fact that you role up, there is no reason to go scorched earth.
Get to the following mindset: You are simply there to enjoy the party, you are there to have fun, as is she.
What she does is no longer your business. What you do is no longer hers.
Treat her as you would treat anyone else, perhaps with a bit more respect given your history. Don’t avoid her, don’t follow her, just do you.
And have fun, you’re there to let your hair down a bit. Her presence should not detract from that. But remember, the same thing goes for you.