What are some not-so-obvious signs of a bad friend?

24 comments

1. You usually being available to help them when they need it, but they are usually busy when you need help.

2. Them expecting things from you that they are unwilling to give to you.

3. Constantly undermines you and makes you feel unworthy of anything positive

4. That other people know information you only told that friend.

5. When they’re not happy about your achievements even if it’s something you’ve been working really hard to accomplish

6. They shame and mock you in front of their “other friends”

7. The part that took me way too long to figure out is. You always have to call them to hang out.

8. They always try to ‘fix’ you. You can never just vent without them psychoanalyzing you and trying to repair you.

9. They only initiate interaction when they need or want something.

10. Add ons and commitment traps.

    **THEM:** “What are you doing on Friday?”

    **YOU:** “Nothing. What’s up?”

    **THEM:** “I need some help with the electrical at my house.”

    And then Friday night…

    **THEM:** “While you’re on your way over can you pick up a 12-pack, 40 feet of 14-gauge romex, and a couple of subs?”

    And so on. These are the same friends who’ll ask for help moving but won’t be done packing when you show up.

11. Holy shit, I’m reading these and they’re really opening my eyes…thank you everyone.

12. Reddit.

13. They lack empathy for you

14. They don’t invite you to a gathering unless you contact them first or if you’re around when someone else mentions it. The distinction here is that it’s not necessarily that they don’t want you there, but rather that they didn’t even think about telling you.

15. They suddenly block you when you had an argument, then change their mind.

16. They suddenly block you when you had an argument, then change their mind.

17. They suddenly block you when you had an argument, then change their mind.

18. A quality friendship is two ways, and you should feel good about yourself when you spend time together. Joking around should be clear cut, and not constantly at your expense. Make sure you are not just keeping a narcissist from being lonely

19. Selfish, arrogant, will put you down in front of others to make himself look better, bad friends taught me a lot

20. 1. You ask them kindly to not bring something up that makes you uncomfortable for any reason…

    Then they look for and find ways to underhandedly circle back to the thing you didn’t want them to bring up that topic every chance they get…

    2. They tell you things other people told them in confidence, then when the other people call them out on it, they try to gaslight everyone involved and find a way to make it seem “okay” that they blabbed a secret, and throw you under the bus in the process.

    3. They change their story of events every time they feel that you are onto the fact that one or more of the previous stories were BS.

21. If their friend ODs at a college party and they just drag said friend to the curb and tell the 911 operator where to pick them up, then they proceed to go back inside to get wasted / attempt to sexually assault people… Because that’s the real priority..

    -about 99% of the kids at my local university

22. they tell alllll stories and secrets of everyone, cus then how can you be sure that he wont talk about yours to others too

23. Find ways to get out of helping you, but always expect you to be there for them.

24. avoid meetings with you