I am a girl and my best friend is also a girl. We both claim to be straight, however we recently have done sexual things together kinda in a jokey way to just ‘have fun’. I don’t feel any kind of attraction to her and she says she doesn’t feel any to me either, and says it’s just for fun. However I’m really doubting as to whether I am or we both are just in denial? I’m not sure how to rationalise with this in my head. It’s quite confusing, but maybe I’m just overthinking and it’s not a big deal? She doesn’t seem phased by it at all and I’m quite the opposite – what should I do? Should I just forget about it and stop worrying about it? I don’t know if this is a big deal or not.
13 comments
What things have you two done together? Was it just a one time thing?
You are just experimenting don’t rush to put a label on yourself. I did similar things with a friend when I was younger and we both ended up knowing for sure we were bisexual but we were not actually into each other like that. As soon as I was with a woman I was very sexually attracted to I knew for sure how I felt about my sexuality.
I guess the binary classification of sexuality does not correspond to the truth in many ways. For example, its pretty normal to have first sexual encounters in a young age with the same gender or very close friends due to the intimate relation and trust we have for them. This does not necessarily mean that we got to have romantic feelings for them.
It’s more like testing things out and to satisfy curiosity.
I recommend that you speak free and open to her about your thoughts.
> Maybe it’s not a big deal!
Yes, it is not a big deal. The good news is you did something and had “fun”. that’s what sex is all about.
Trust me, in our sex lives we all “experiment’ on what we like, from masturbation, fantasies, trying out anal, toys etc – the list is endless
The last thing to do is put a label on it. as you shall find mostly labels are meant for the “society” but when it comes to actual sex, try as we might some things can’t be put in a box and labeled.
The best label to give is – **if its is consented, safe, legal and enjoyable then DO IT**
To be honest to me its not a big deal, i have done it few times with friends or other women, even have been in love with women long time ago but i have husband and dauther and i mostly like men. 🤷Mostly. 😂We have done that few times when i was student, it was like you describe it, just for fun. I dont know, may be i can be considered bi, i really dont care. And my husband kinda like those stories, he would love to be involved for sure. ðŸ¤He doesnt take that seriously, neither do i. And half of my friends are like that, they all have men….
I wouldn’t worry about it. You’re just experimenting, it doesn’t have to mean anything beyond that.
I think labels are for food packets and medication.
I’d say just enjoy yourself and as long as you are happy and your friend is happy then be free to do what you like
I just watched the Whitney Houston biopic last week. I never knew that her first sexual relationship was with a woman, her best friend.
Don’t label yourself or censor yourself. Just do what you want, do what you like.
Sometimes it takes a few sips to decide if you like the tea or not.
You don’t have to label anything until you’re certain. And even then, a label can change. I consider myself straight because I fooled around with a woman once and never had the desire to do it again. It’s been a decade and I still don’t have the desire. Therefore I refer to myself as straight.
But just take your time and don’t worry about defining yourself. As long as it’s consensual, do whatever you want.
Sometimes it takes a few sips to decide if you like the tea or not.
You don’t have to label anything until you’re certain. And even then, a label can change. I consider myself straight because I fooled around with a woman once and never had the desire to do it again. It’s been a decade and I still don’t have the desire. Therefore I refer to myself as straight.
But just take your time and don’t worry about defining yourself. As long as it’s consensual, do whatever you want.
Overthinking is most likely the answer
Are you more worried that she may “like” you or that you may “like” her? Or are you feeling guilty about having no-strings sex? Having lesbian sex? I think there may be more behind your anxiety than just wanting to put a label on it. Possibly something deep-seeded with associations of shame.
It’s not unusual for guys and girls to have a friend that is so close and even minor sexual things happen. If you don’t like it and aren’t into it, definitely set boundaries. But don’t be afraid of curiosity