I’m 23 F and my whole life I have always been the “least favorite” of my friends. Or I get overlooked at jobs. Or just simply people don’t want to interact with me.

In any circle of friends that I’ve been in I’m always the least favorite friend. I’ve spent years battling this in my head as I usually try to restore my confidence by telling myself it’s not the way I think it is. But this has happened over and over in my life. Either other friends are closer to one another and I get left out. I am always the one people make jokes about. And when there is a group conversation I get talked over or people don’t pay attention to me.

At work, it’s the same way. I’m often overlooked for tasks or jobs. I’m always the last one to get recognition or praise even though I usually exceed at my job duties.

I’ve always been shy and I’ve been trying to be more outspoken and put myself out there. The other day I decided to strike up a conversation with a random coworker (this isn’t the first time) and this coworker just acted so uninterested when talking to me. As does everyone else at work when I talk to them. I try my best to make sure I ask about them and don’t talk about myself too much. I try to show interest in their personal or work lives. But they just seem so unengaged in the conversation.

A lot of the time my friends exclude me. They gravitate towards each other and a lot of the times talk shit on me. When I stand up for myself it just makes things worse.

I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I feel isolated. I want friends but a lot of the time I don’t fit in with people my age. I have friends who are a lot older than me, but I also just want friends my age.

Any advice? Or insight? It’s okay if the problem is me, but I am just struggling to figure out where I’m going wrong and how to fix it.

4 comments

  1. > this coworker just acted so uninterested when talking to me

    It will greatly benefit you if you dont take things like this personally. More often than not it’s not about you, they probably have a bunch of shit swirling around in their own head that is keeping them from being engaged in conversation with you

    Keep putting yourself out there and interacting with people and doing interesting things

    Work on cultivating positive energy and having it flow out of you towards others. Share what youre doing, explore your passions with and without people just cause they are things that fulfill you. Do things and invite people to do those things with you, and even if they dont come, do them anyway and have an experience

  2. I’m sorry to hear that you’ve been feeling overlooked and left out for most of your life. It’s not fair that you have to go through this, and you deserve to be treated with kindness and respect just like everyone else.

    Firstly, I want you to know that the problem is not you. You don’t need to change who you are to fit in with others. You are a unique individual with your own personality and interests, and there will be people who will appreciate and value you for who you are.

    It’s understandable that you want to make friends your age, and it’s great that you’re trying to put yourself out there and strike up conversations. Keep doing that, but don’t be discouraged if some people don’t seem interested. It’s not a reflection of you, but rather their own biases or preconceptions. Keep being friendly and kind, and you’ll eventually find people who will reciprocate and appreciate your efforts.

    As for your current friends who exclude you and talk behind your back, I encourage you to evaluate whether these are the kind of people you want to surround yourself with. True friends will not treat you this way, and you deserve friends who will uplift and support you. It may be difficult, but consider having an honest conversation with them about how their behavior is affecting you. If they are unwilling to change or continue to mistreat you, it may be time to move on and find new, healthier friendships.

    Remember that you are worthy of love and connection, and don’t let anyone make you feel otherwise. Keep being yourself and keep putting yourself out there. The right people will come along, and they will see you for the amazing person that you are.

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