I’m in a relationship with an 8 year age gap, I asked him out, he’s afraid that dating me, showing affection, or flirting means that he’s a pedophile. I have almost a full beard and a near bass voice but otherwise act a bit childish.
How do I help him ease up and understand that it’s all okay and we are two mature adults (other than a lot of fart jokes and playing around) who love each other?
TL;DR: my boyfriend believes loving me means he’s a pedo, how do I help?
9 comments
I’ll be honest, someone almost in their 30s dating someone I’m their early 20s it’s a bit sketchy.
That is ridiculous. I met my (now husband) at 18, he was 26. I am now 34 he is 42. He is placing too much weight on looks and age.
my grandparents have a 7 year gap and are going onto their 50th anniversary sometimes (in the right circumstances) Love is simply love screw all these people who are judging you
Honestly, if you guys love each other then that’s all that should matter. I agree with the other comment, you’re worrying too much about the age gap. Just do what feel best for you and your partner, do what makes you both happiest without thinking of anyone else.
Let go of what other people think and be happy, life’s too short
I’m 19 and my boyfriend is 30, no one has a problem with it except people on reddit so.. If you guys are happy, no one can tell you otherwise
Someone seriously needs a dictionary.
An age gap between consenting adults has nothing to do with pedophilia. There are no children involved in such a scenario.
Personally, I would move along and find someone smarter.
He knows he is dating someone who is too young. He has 8 years of being an adult above you, you barely finished your education of you did. People his age have no buisness dating people whose brains are still developing, he is either immature and you will ourgrow him or he likes young guys
Sorry you are picking up so much flack here by agists filling in some huge assumptions about people they don’t know. Youre both in your 20s, it’s whatever, I think age gaps are a lot more taboo in the straight realm than queer, hence the alarmists.
As far as making him feel cozy—it sounds like you have a goofy sense of humor, but as far as animating goes I would suggest toning it down in public. Composure we can say. mm, if he likes you with scruff, this can also help but it has to be well groomed (not patchy like a boy!)
Only other thing I can think of is a bit of power play and getting cute in the manner of making him feel like the younger one (lol)*. I am in a twenty year gap rn (Im the younger at 35) and this works *-chef kiss-* like magic. it just takes some time and creativity to figure how to help them loosen up.
* Just realized that I should give some examples for this. So, for instance, terms of affinity that have youthful angle to them (like tiny, pipsqueak, half pint etc — you can also use other languages, piccolo, gachinio, etc). Capitalize in moments where he has more child-like things going than you and flirt that you’re the one wearing the pants here, etc. Of course, I dont know what the balance is there for you guys, so depends what he can handle but it sounds like you both good sports. 🙂