For context, me (28 yr F) and my boyfriend (32 yr M) have been together for 8 months and it’s been anything but easy. Even with my traumatic past of abusive cheaters, I haven’t been too jealous until the first major fight we had a few months ago over his DM’s from his ex. We were both drinking heavily, got into a fight, I asked him to leave and said we needed space.
He then left and immediately went to an old fwb’s house (not the girl that was messaging him) he banged her without protection, and spent the night at her house. When we got back together a few days later, he completely hid that from me and made me feel guilty for acting “crazy”. It wasn’t until a few weeks later when I randomly asked since I had a weird feeling and he admitted it.
After a lot of thinking, I decided to try and get over that since we technically weren’t together since I broke it off that night, but he still lied until I straight up asked him, jeopardized my health, and my trust has been broken at that point. While trying to build the trust back, things have been going good recently, but now he’s wanting me to go to a different girl’s baby shower with him. He’s been friends with her for over 10 years but they were fwb’s too recently before we got together. He said he never had feelings with her, he was just wanting to have sex, but she was in love with him. And mind you every girl I’ve mentioned in this story is someone different he’s been intimate with.
I don’t know how to feel given our past and I can’t understand where he’s coming from, because I don’t sleep with my guy friends. I never crossed that line especially with someone I’ve known for so long, because to me, that changes the whole dynamic of your relationship. Everyone I’ve slept with, I do not keep contact with anymore as he’s a jealous person himself. I feel like he wouldn’t be okay if this situation was reversed. Maybe I hold sex more sacred then others but I don’t do it with my friends or just anyone, it’s an exchange of intimate energy. So I don’t know how to react whether I should go with him and be cool or let him go by himself or tell him I’m not comfortable with either option? How would you feel in this situation?
2 comments
Option #3. Break up with him. His behavior is Toxic and this relationship is only going to bring you pain.
How would I feel about that? I would feel like declining & suggesting my partner get his head examined for other signs of concussion or TBT.