Ladies, what stupid decisions did you take for the fear of being alone?

14 comments

1. I caught my bf cheating and **I begged him** not to leave me – I told him he could keep doing it as long as I didn’t know about it or hear about it.

   I was so scared nobody else would ever give a shit about me. I didn’t want to lose the tiny bit of hope he gave me that I wouldn’t always be alone.

   Embarrassing.

2. Kept a couple of lousy, toxic “friends” around for way too long. It makes me so annoyed to think back on, because I had a *huge* social circle with lots of lovely people in it. Even if I had kicked these girls out of my closest circle, I’d still have had tons of other friends to hang out with, yet I felt that if I cut them off I’d be all alone and have noone left. I still don’t know why I was so desperate to keep them.

3. I made hundreds of stupid decisions but one that bothers me the most is staying with guys who were toxic and abusive in hopes they would change and thinking that’s the only type of love their was because it was all I was used to growing up with my mom and her family.

4. Stripped myself of my natural personality to camouflage myself into the woman he wanted.

   It didn’t work. He eventually ghosted and abandoned me in favor of someone he believed was better. I was left to pick up the pieces of myself, only to discover that the shattered image of that woman was never the real me to begin with.

   I’ve recently begun the process of rediscovering myself and I’m beginning to realize that while being alone can be scary at times, it’s not as scary as I thought it would be.

5. Repressed the fact that I was polyamorous for over a decade.

6. I got married to a man that I have known all our lives about it, we’re friends with him but he was 5 years younger than me. That was the stupidest mistake I ever made. God or somebody throwed up every obstacle they could to prevent me from getting married. And I jumped over them things and went under them things and around those things and anything else I had to do to make it to Gaffney South Carolina to get married by a judge. God should just struck me dead with a lightning bolt.

7. Stayed in an emotionally/physically abusive relationship for 4 years. Part of the gaslighting was him telling me that “no one would love me the way he does” and almost 2 years later and loving my own company, I am in the healthiest/happiest relationship I have had.

8. I stayed for 2 more years after the man I was dating impregnated me while I was sleeping. He told me he was sleeping too, and wasn’t fully conscious while it was happening.

   We were a hub in a large group of friends, and I didn’t want to lose all the people I cared about.

9. I married my ex-husband, even though I did not want to. I let him, my family, and the people I considered friends badger and scare me into doing it.
   That marriage taught me there are worse things than being alone.

10. Settled hard on someone I wasn’t really interested in because I was lonely and thought after getting dumped by a good guy, that I wasn’t going to find anything better. Stayed in what became an emotionally abusive relationship for 2 years because I was afraid of “starting over” and believed his lies that “no one else will want me”.

11. I stayed in a toxic relationship knowing I was emulating my parents. He was abusive but I was desperate for his love and attention. Because I didn’t think anyone else would ever be attracted to me in any way

12. Marrying a guy in prison. 🤦🏻‍♀️ Divorce pending. I attract toxic. I need to be detoxed.

13. [removed]

14. Dated so many men who were just covered in red flags and I just refused to see them, because I wanted to feel like someone liked me.