my (25f) boyfriend (26m) confessed to me that he still dreams about his first love. he said when he wakes up from his dream he feels like he misses her. once he showers and gets his day going he says he comes back to reality and he knows that it would’ve never worked out anyway. i’m so glad he opened up to me about it, but part of me just feels weird about it. i have a bad habit of comparing myself to his exes and other girls in general so i know i have a fear of abandonment which may be where this is stemming from. she’s in a new relationship, but a part of me wonders if she was single he would shoot his shot. i’m worried about asking for reassurance because i do want him to open up to me more in the future about these things. i know i’ll be okay with this eventually, i also dream about my ex, but what’re some good thoughts that i can replace with the bad ones?
tl;dr: my boyfriend told me he still dreams about his first love and reminisces on the past, but it makes me a little insecure.
2 comments
>i’m worried about asking for reassurance because i do want him to open up to me more in the future about these things.
Depending on how emotionally open you already are with him, I think that’s a fair thing to be completely open with him about. “On one hand, it would help me feel better to be reassured about your commitment to our relationship, but at the same time, I also want you to feel open and honest about your feelings and experiences with me without feeling judged.”
>i also dream about my ex
That’d be a good thing to share with him – it’d help him feel more comfortable sharing his dreams with you, knowing he’s not alone.
>but what’re some good thoughts that i can replace with the bad ones?
His reassurances could help, if you told him, and wanted to work out a way you could feel more secure in your relationship.
Everyone has dreams about their exes. If what he said makes you feel insecure, then you should just talk to him about it and ask him to reassure you that he’s not feeling anything towards her and wants to be with you.