I am 21, I’ve only ever had three sexual partners. I’ve experienced ED with all of them. With the second partner I was able to get erect after the first time we hooked up. With the third I was only able to get erect for a short period of time. I am able to get erect while alone however it takes a lot of physical stimulation, and the stimulation needs to be constant for me to maintain it. My penis definitely feels less sensitive than it used to be. I developed a pretty bad porn addiction over COVID and while I have cut down on the porn I failed to completely get rid of it. I’ve done a testosterone panel and it is completely normal. I am very active going to the gym three times a week. I am not overweight, I don’t smoke and drink once a week or less, in fact I have an easier time getting hard after a few drinks than I do sober.
What options are left to me. I’ve only just recently started to have sexual partners and it feels horrible to know I am disappointing all of them. I also go a long time between partners (I have an extremely hard time finding partners) and I feel like I waste all of them, eventually the well will run dry and I am still going to not have had the sexual experiences I wanted. I am always calm during the actual interaction. I will admit and say I don’t get the most attractive women into bed, but they are attractive enough to me. I definitely get aroused, just tonight while making out with someone I had plenty of precum and occasional erections that came and went (The erections would come and go whenever something would change, when she first arrived, when we started kissing, when she started undressing) but that’s it. I was able to get erect once, through very lightly touching myself while I fingered her and made out with her, but it didn’t last long enough for us to actually do anything with it. I’ve tried therapy and it didn’t help. And assuming this is a psychological issue I don’t think a pill will help, furthermore I don’t think knowing I need a pill at age 21 is going to help me with self esteem, which is a great way to make psych ED worse
2 comments
You need to quit porn and you need to learn to masturbate in different ways. Standing up, sitting down, in the shower, using different grip strengths and rhythm. Right now you’re too reliant on whatever masturbation technique you’ve been using and you need to get that under control if you ever want to have a healthy sex life.
Stop with the video porn and use erotica (literotica is a good resource) or audio porn (gone wild audio on Reddit is good) as a transition away from traditional porn until you can eventually phase it out all together.
So from experience of my partners ED. we find that him not cumming for a day or two before he sees me helps to get and maintain his erection.
Another thing that also helped him was not watching porn/jacking off all the time. He also had a case of the death grip which doesn’t help as a vagina will never be the same as your hand.
So my advice is try avoid porn all together, if you bust masterbate don’t grab your penis as hard as you normally would and consider using lube too.
If all else fails, and you still struggle after this it may be worthwhile speaking to your doctor incase it’s an underlying issue causing your ED, if it’s not they they can prescribe medication to help you.