The exhaustion of trying to be perfect for someone who will always see your faults rather the efforts, really is not worth the time, focus rather on building new relationships, with people whom appreciate your efforts, then critique your past, or disregard your growth by comparison to some who just sucks up to them.
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One of the best things I ever did was tip my head, smile at someone and say pleasantly, “hmm…you…don’t seem like a kind person. Have a great day!” And got up and walked away. I’m autistic and don’t play games.
Or…appreciate your own efforts based on merits YOU assign them, and be careful about needing validation of your efforts by others.