Have you had a date talked negatively about their exes?

14 comments

1. That to me is right off the bat a sign of insecurity and a powerful character trait. I never speak negatively in a social setting or behind closed doors to anyone about the happenings of mine and another’s private relationship. The same group of friends and Social Circle, there’s a way to vent and discuss situations with others but, I always try to speak as two people and on the behalf of the partner who’s not present. I speak like we did this wrong and did this right. We both made this mistake or we succeeded with this. Because a relationship is a team and there’s two people. What’s good for some it may not be good for others and this might work with this but it doesn’t work with that. It shows character to maintain respect and refrain from belittling someone else’s image

2. That’d be a big nope from me.

3. At best it’s a sign of immaturity. At worst it’s a sign of a personality disorder. If all of their exes are “crazy”, that’s a red flag. If all of their relationships ended in dramatic fashion and they never did anything wrong, don’t get involved with that person.

4. There’s a few red flags I don’t tolerate. One is taking shit about exes on the first date. It just makes it very obvious that the person is still fresh on their mind and I’m either going to be compared or dumped in the near future.

5. For me it depends on the context: it’s one things to say all your exes were horrible and crazy, even though you’re so perfect and did nothing to cause this, it’s another to admit that you overlooked some red flags, dated some not so good people, but now you know better. My case is the second, i am not shy about talking negatively about my exes to explain some of my standards, cause that’s how those standards where created – through negative experience with exes.

6. If someone is comparing you to their exes to your face on a first date, there probably shouldn’t be a second.

   Never had it happen, but that would be about how it would go.

7. That’s a huge red flag. Abandon ship. They haven’t moved on. And potentially they only see faults in others rather than working on themselves.

8. Sometimes, they’re trying to rewire their brain

9. This is always a red flag for me. It does help though if they admit they were a part of the problem and learned from it.

10. yea all his exes were “psycho” and all of his friends called him the crazy magnet , now Im the “psycho” too

11. Besides all? Like, apart from 100%?

    Waaait..is this a trick question?

12. The things you quoted, feel manipulative, as long as it’s not taken out of context. People who try to make you feel good by telling you, “you’re not this person”, should be avoided. Especially if it’s early on. If you’re six months in, it may just be a thinking out loud observation, just from feeling a bit relieved.

13. I think the biggest red flag is they saying you are different after one date. It’s like a job interview even if you were a terrible company and the person asks why you are leaving you say it was not a good fit. You don’t tell them how terrible it was and how this new company is so much better.

14. I’ve witnessed this. And what made it worse is that I knew her. She’s lovely, too.

    The date was not good. He seemed angry and was sweaty and nervous.

    But what I found out afterwards from his ex was even worse. Not only had he misrepresented what a caring family he had, his mother and sister had restraining orders against him, and he’d driven illegally to see me having lost his license for a DUI.