A couple of days ago my boyfriend moved houses, I helped him move and stayed over. The next morning I woke up and our kitten was walking near his closet, and I saw a condom in the bottom shelf (the shelf was completely empty, besides the condom). The shelf is directly below the pants hanger.
I started crying immediately, we talked for a bit and he brought up the the fact that he had been acting weird and he said that he had been stressed bc he was moving, his jobs and and exam he had today. I broke down and mentioned the condom, he said that it was an old condom that he had in his wallet and that he meant to throw it away, we both cried for a while and I kind of let it go.
The next day, we went to buy some things for his bike and he forgot his wallet, we needed cash and I went to his house to grab the wallet, since the place took cash only I opened his wallet and he had a single condom in it (same brand as the other one). Later that evening I told him about it and he said that condoms come in three packs and that he forgot about that one. I’m pretty certain that he didn’t have a condom in his wallet before. I’ve seen his wallet a thousand times.
Here’s the thing: I simply can’t imagine him cheating on me. He’s the sweetest man I’ve ever met, he’s loving and caring, and I love him to pieces. But this just doesn’t make any sense. I can’t find a reasonable explanation. I’ve talked to him about it but I just can’t forget it. I’m worried that nothing he can say will ease my mind. I feel like I’m going insane. But I’m worried that my constantly hassling him with questions will upset him and drive him away.
Can someone give me some advice on how to approach this? Should I keep bringing it up or just deal with it myself?
Also, I’m sorry if this is formatted weird or if it’s hard to comprehend, English is not my first language and I’m writing on my phone. I just need to get this out of my chest. And hopefully get some insight.
4 comments
The closet one isn’t weird, guys have random stuff in there all the time. The wallet is concerning, especially if you seen it a bunch of times. I don’t want to say go snooping because if he’s not cheating than you lose his trust. Maybe just have a serious talk with him and say how it’s making you feel.
Everything time you find a condom and he says he forgot
Ask him how many condoms he forgot he has ? And then rest your mind in peace.
> But I’m worried that my constantly hassling him with questions will upset him and drive him away.
probably will.
>Should I keep bringing it up or just deal with it myself?
why keep bringing it up? you either believe what he said or you dont. You clearly dont, since you keep bringing it up..what is next then, if he doesnt change his story? That is a real question. You dont believe him, so what is next? What are you going to do..You dont need the internet to tell you what to do, what do you do when someone is lying to you and looking to or banging other women? That is a real question. People do different things. what do you do?
I think that after confronting him about the condom in his wallet you should have asked him for permission to go through his phone in that moment. So if he has nothing to hide there is no reason to not show it immediately (so he didn’t have a chance to delete anything). First condom – you gave him benefit of doubt, second one I think you have every right to not believe just his words and his words should be backed up with his actions and willingness to put your mind at ease.