Ok so about 2 years ago I started talking to a girl. Me (20m) her (18f) at that time. I thought me and her just clicked and I felt something for her I just haven’t since I was way younger. The only problem is that I live about 5 ish hours from her, so I planned a trip. I booked a hotel for her and I and we had spent days together. We talked all night, wrestled like kids, listened to music and she sang to me. all around had a blast. Things were better than perfect! Up until I had to take her home and head home myself. At first things were great. We FaceTimed every day for days on end. It was hard but I planned on moving to her city and trying to make a life there to see if we could be together. It failed and i didn’t see what happened or when she started distancing herself, but it happened. Her reply’s got short and she slowly stopped calling. I guess the spark died out before it got a chance to spread. We talked a few times here and there over the last 2 years but nothing ever came out of it again. Till now! I planned a vacation to the city again because my dad was getting out of jail and I hadn’t seen my family or friends that live there in some time. She found out that I was going to be in town so her and I started to talk again. I booked an Airbnb and she came to hangout again as well. And just like that last time I saw her we had a blast and I had to leave her. Now 2 days since I left we have been on the phone constantly and I really feel like I could fall for her. But last time her and I stopped talking I just got into a weird state of mind where I just went day to day almost on autopilot and not really caring about much and I really still can’t get out of to this day. I want to be with her so bad it hurts my heart but how do I trust the same thing won’t just happen all over again because if it does I’m not sure how hurt I’d be bc I’m sort of expecting it but she tells me she loves me and I’m just so confused.
Not the best at explaining things but there it is..