I’ve started seeing a guy, we’re both healthily into BDSM and I like that he spanks me and gives me spanking punishments when I misbehave, it’s definitely something I want to do more of.
Problem is, I’m *very* naturally obedient, and a people pleaser. At this point, the most I’ve managed to misbehave is an eye roll lol.
Any suggestions on how to be brattier and ways to misbehave so I get punished??
6 comments
I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about how to explain this to my partner who has a similar problem. But I don’t have a really good answer yet.
You could try saying the opposite thing when he asks you do to something.
So when he asks you something you obviously know to do, instead of doing that, lightly push back in a playful way. You can do this with the intention of getting a spanking.
Essentially think “would saying this get me a spanking “ then say that
I’m not an expert at all, but would it help you to see misbehaving as pleasing him? You don’t want to disobey him because you are a pleaser, but consider that the best way to please him is to disobey, maybe it’ll help.
Adopt a persona and pretend you’ve been bad/promiscuous etc. I find that separation with real lift important
Try to hack your own brain. For what it’s worth, I sympathise with you being a people-pleaser, it is something I have been fighting with my whole adult life.
By “hack your own brain”, I mean clearly in the context of BDSM, you being more of a “brat” is actually what your partner WANTS. So with that in mind, ask him what kind of bratty behaviour he finds sexy or that gives him the fire to want to “tame” you and then in the moment, just remember that the actions you will be doing are specifically GOING to be pleasing him because he has asked for it. Eventually, you will get used to this and be able to think of things yourself. This is something I did with my ability to actually voice an opinion that differs from that of my wife (girlfriend at the time we put this into practise); she told me that if I disagreed with her and was able to actually hold the debate without backing down, it would actually make her happier – and she showed me afterwards that she appreciated me being honest with her. Eventually this does take hold in your mind.
Ooh, That sounds like such fun! As one said earlier, slightly go against what he says or requests you to do in the moment. Or, you could always tell him of a thought or “occurrence” and question if that was naughty or being his good little girl???
If he expects verbal responses from you, give him only nods or vice versa! Not technically misbehaving, just not giving him exactly what he’s asked for!
Also, try telling him you want more spankings! “Daddy/sir I love how it feels when you spank me, but I’m so good for you I don’t get that enough.” In my relationship that’d be a guaranteed spanking!
Also, try taking control of a situation. He might let you get away with it a little, but Doms don’t like to be dommed in my experience 😉