To moms: how can you relate to your daughters as a daughter yourself?

3 comments

1. I just relate to her as i would any person. She’s a unique individual with her own interests and hobbies and I listen when she talks about them, when she talks about her friends, when she wants to play new songs, etc. And sometimes we sit on the couch together doing the same things like sending each other random TikToks or questing together in world of warcraft.

2. I give my AFAB kid more attention than I got as a child. I also refer back to the memories I filed away about how tough middle school was in order to feel compassion for my kid. I filed away so many memories years ago specifically so I wouldn’t forget and be a jerk adult. That tactic worked. I’m shocked so many adults forget how hard existing is as a kid.

3. I have a seven year old. I relate to her strong emotions and try my best to be patient, respectful and compassionate when she is “overly” angry or sad (or happy for that matter). I remember when I was little and my feelings were treated as an annoyance and I don’t want her to learn that she is an inconvenience. I also relate to her confusion towards other peoples behaviours, as she is growing older and meeting new people, both her own age and adults. She often will comment on how someone did something bad according to her. I try and help her navigate not caring if someone does something wrong like walking a red light. And if someone is treating her badly, like not listening to her no (like the boy with a crush on her following her around at school), I will reassure her that its disrespectful and she should not have to put up with it.