Married men, how often do you think about your ex’s?

15 comments

1. Maybe once a month or so.

2. Every time I realize what a bullet I dodged.

3. Depends what you mean by ‘thinking of exes.’

   Very often I’ll think of times in my life that did involve my exes, and it’s impossible to separate them; certain trips, life at an apartment I shared with them, events, etc. I honestly don’t find anything unhealthy with it, as it’s just accepting the people in my life who led me to where I am now.

   If you mean “longing for your exes,” I really don’t. Lot of craziness, and genuinely happy I am where I am now.

   Guess that distinctions important, the context in which you think of them. I’m certain my wife has fond memories of her exes as I do with mine, because that’s just life. It’s only a problem if you can’t detach them or reconcile them.

4. Depends on how physical the wife is being. If she’s keeping me satisfied then I only think about her, and I think about her a lot, like many times a day. Otherwise I start to fantasize about other women including exes, every day.

5. Why would I think about a failed marriage when I have one that’s working

6. Only when questions like this come up tbh. We’ve been together so long anyone else is a distant, vague memory from my youth.

7. Only had one serious relationship before my wife. Basically when a question like this is asked or the couple of times I’ve ran into her at a store or restaurant.

   Edit: I’ve been married 15 years though and I’m sure I thought about her more closer to when we broke up.

8. I think about every fond memory I had often, including past girlfriends, despite being together with my SO for 14 years now. There is no harm in recalling happy memories from exes. Your memories are your life. No one can give you any grief about what is on your mind as long as your actions stay loyal and good. I would say there is no reason to share this info/frequency with your wife, but at least you are being honest. It is not abnormal though. I guarantee there are thoughts and memories your wife has that she probably does not share with you. Our minds are our own little sanctuaries 🙂

9. I honestly never do, as a married man I have so much to care/worry about in my ongoing life that I never thought about that.

   Also I’m pretty happy with my wife and I never remained attached to any relationship after the break up, so… Never to be honest.

10. Whenever I’m ripping on them

11. Almost never.

12. Way too often. Largely because I have no one to talk with about those experiences so I keep replaying them in my head. I married the right woman, but I didn’t know I would meet her until it happened, meanwhile I think about how some of my earlier relationships could have been more successful had I known then what I know now. Ironic because had I been able to make any of those relationships work long-term I would probably be in a less happy place today. Almost makes me want to believe in God (although why would God have done a secular person like me any favors?).

13. When something happens to bring them to mind, like driving through the town where they lived or seeing a movie we watched together recommended on Netflix, pretty much the same as any old friend occasionally passes my mind.

14. Almost never.

15. Had happy memories. But in the end I realized that it was a marriage. It wouldn’t have been a marriage if we didn’t have happy memories together. But we cannot be happy together so I do not long for a time in the past. I long for future joy with my partner, not to relive past joys that won’t last.

    Having good memories of the past is a good thing. Means good things did happen. But they are the past, now make a future.