I (24M) have a problem to start a new relationship because of my past with this girl (24F)… can anyone help me?

I (24M) have a problem to start a new relationship because of my past with this girl (24F)…

She was my first true love and also my first time, and I was so in love with her that when I thought about my future, I wanted to be with her no matter what. Heck, at the time I also thought to marry her in the not too distant future …

We were together for 4 years, and we broke up because she had decided to move to London forever with her family (she broken with me, telling me that she didn’t want to live a long distance relationship, With the fear that I could cheat on her while she wasn’t there…)

Obviously it was a tremendous blow for me, coz i was ready to this type of relationship… because of this I had to take medication to sleep because during the night I could no longer sleep and I was literally destroying myself, even if in front of others I did not show my weaknesses. The worst thing is that after three months of staying in London, she had found another boyfriend, while I was here suffering like a dog. From that moment on, we didn’t talk anymore… we didn’t even address the subject… I just preferred to try to forget it and to move on with my life. But I couldn’t.

After two years of avoiding any kind of relationship or any kind of physical contact, I had decided to get out of my protective shell and enjoy my life, starting to hang out with a couple of girls again. The problem is that I am constantly looking for those old sensations and happiness with her, that unfortunately no longer exist. My last relationship for example ended in a very abrupt way because I couldn’t give love and affection to this very good girl, who did everything to make me happy, but the truth is that when it comes to relationships, it seems that nothing can make me happy again.

It may seem like a contradiction to you, but I am currently quite happy, I have wonderful friends with whom I spend a lot of time, I have wonderful parents and my working life is going well, but there is this thing that I can’t get over, and I don’t know what to do because now I’m starting to think that I will be alone forever, and I don’t want to hurt altre ragazze per colpa del mio passato. So I ask you for help, because I want to get through all this once and for all.