My boss / owner of the small company I work for and I have been engaging in flirting for the past year I have been employed. The flirting is mostly prolonged eye contact and it began when one day he wouldn’t break eye contact with me while he was giving a team update. He was talking to the team but would not break our eye contact. He asked me to car pool with him on a work trip that we would be at for 2 days. I said no and the next day he ended up canceling on coming along with the team. He’s never made inappropriate comments to me but I have caught him multiple times checking me out. I started dating someone recently and he brought me breakfast to my work and I kissed him outside through the window of his car. I came back inside and I was startled to see that my boss was right there at the door and was acting upset. He asked if that was my friend outside and I said that’s my boyfriend, and he said I shouldn’t be calling him my boyfriend. We recently had a work party where my boss put his hand on my outer thigh when he came over to talk to me. He was drunk and I made distance between us quickly. I went part time and I’ve started looking for another job. I know I brought this onto myself because I would smile back or keep the eye contact in the beginning but I started dating someone and I stopped. Recently, a co worker told me the boss’s wife was asking other employees if anything was going on at the office if they would let her know. His wife has seen him staring at me before and some co workers have noticed his prolonged eye contact in the meetings. I feel uncomfortable at work because I am being treated a little different by the coworkers and I don’t want anyone to think I am sleeping with my boss. I also wonder if anyone saw him put his hand on my thigh at the office party. I am obviously paranoid and I wonder if I should clear things up? His wife has been very rude to me and I feel guilty because I know I flirted back but I never allowed anything to become physical. I’m thinking of quitting completely but I wonder if I should clear things up before I go?
12 comments
probably best to just keep your distance, and if possible, let the wife know that you’re not interested in him that way
Get another job and report him somehow? Idk how but that’s fucking creepy.
Is there an HR you could report him to
This is weird dude. Listen to your gut; your paranoia is telling you something.
Also never be alone with this dude. He’s acting possessive and you’re not even involved with each other.
>I would smile back or keep the eye contact
This is not your fault if this is only thing you’ve done. This is too blatant and you should definitely find a new place to work
Just quit. Your job should be atleast tolerable because you spent most of your time there. You shouldn’t feel like you’re walking on eggshells. When you submit your resignation letter, expect him being aggressive towards you so try recording before entering. This dude sounds creepy.
My advice…
Be careful!
Office relationships are awkward when they go sour; but if it’s with the boss… be careful that your flirting does not go further
Omg the staff will perceive that you are getting preferential treatment and will not be sympathetic when it goes wrong.
The fallout could be catastrophic and there will only ever be one winner when it comes to your job/career.
Remember the same person may have to be asked as a reference for new job opportunities you pursue.
I really hope that I am wrong.
Any feedback or constructive criticism from you the OP would be most welcomed.
Definitely time to say goodbye and good riddance to your stepbrother. It’s good you’re looking for a new residency and leaving the Homefront. Looking for new adventures and opportunities. Your zealot stepbrother was getting too comfortable with his domineering demeanor steer. Trying to hypnotize you with his prolonged Houdini glaring glances.
I don’t have a lot of sympathy for homewreckers but I do want to help you. Stop. Stooooooop doing this. There is nothing for you to gain and everything to lose. I’m sure you think you’re very mature for your age and being subtle, but everyone knows what you’re doing and your reputation at work is in the toilet. Everyone already thinks you’re fucking, and word gets around.
Girl, find another job
Tell him direct and firmly that you are not interested in him and that he is making you extremely uncomfortable. Depending on the legality according to your local laws, record the conversation. If he fires you, you will have one hell of a lawsuit. Either way definitely look for a new job. You shouldn’t have to deal with harassment while you look. Also, once you are clear of the situation, definitely tell his wife.
At this point, you should probably keep job hunting and get out.
Once you leave, then you email her or contact through social media. Tell her you have heard through the grapevine that she was suspicious of your activity with him. Let her know that you never did anything inappropriate with him, but he made you feel very uncomfortable. I would tell her straight up that is why you left the job. Probably even tell her the things he did to make you feel uneasy.
Tell the wife you tried to be friendly to her husband, but you got some serious creeper vibes, especially when he found out you had a boyfriend and he denied that the guy was your partne. Apologize for not letting her know earlier, but you needed a new job first so he didn’t get rid of you and leave you without an income. Let her know you will not ever bother her again nor do you want any kind of contact with the husband, but are available for questions if she has any.