I saw a thread on here earlier about a woman struggling with this. Her husband mentioned that he masturbates to the thought of her friends, and all of the comments were saying it was normal and most men even do it to the thought of relatives!
However you rarely hear about married women fantasizing about their husbands friends or brothers, this makes me wonder why that is? Of course there’s definitely some women who do but is that “normal”? The idea of my boyfriends friends or relatives hitting on me makes me physically nauseous no matter how good-looking they are. It feels like such a betrayal to my partner, I couldn’t imagine pleasuring myself to them!
So I brought this question to my friends(all women); and they all agreed. They thought it was a very strange dynamic and they don’t fantasize about their partners friends.
This brings me to the question of why? We may never know the concrete answer of course but in your own opinion why do you think that is? Is it just natural, with men tending to have higher sex drives therefore they are naturally more sexually deviant. Or is it societal based, it’s fairly common for men to have more than one female partner, it’s less often you see or hear about women also having more than one partner. (I’m referring to polygamy, polyamory, religions where they have multiple wives etc. not cheating)
Edit: not looking to debate or anything just genuinely curious! I don’t care who you wank to, a lot of people are DMing me their personal stories and “justifications”. Again, I couldn’t care less what you and your partner get into
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i never knew how normal it was
Why? Because at our core we are animals, and one of the basic instincts all animals share is to propagate the species. It’s simply instinct to look at people as potential sexual partners.
I would not have considered this normal.
Stray thoughts, sure, can’t exactly help that, but actively fantasising and masturbating to them?? Not a chance. Absolutely not appropriate.
Doesn’t matter whether it’s “appropriate.” It’s occurring within their head. I don’t police other people’s thoughts because that’s not my jurisdiction.
Why would you even bring up someone hitting on you as if it’s the same thing? It’s not at all.
Anyone can masturbate to the thought of whatever they want.
If I found out my bf is fantasizing and masturbating to my friends or whatever, it would make me very uncomfortable and probably made me distance myself from him. I don’t do this to him as I find it kinda weird and I’m pretty comfortable to just think about him as that just feel the best. I logically know that you can admire other people even when you are in a relationship, but something about thinking about other people, especially those close to you, this way just doesn’t feel good for me. As told above, it’s their head, you can’t control that, it’s totally on them how they will work with the temptation and maybe they should just keep their mouth shut about some things.
Fantasizing about a certain random human being that was attractive or fantasizing about a certain body part on someone you’ve seen is, in my mind, totally normal. You can absolutly look and fantasize about other people, on occasion, and be happy in a relationship. Your thoughts are you thoughts. BUT to tell your gf/bf you fantasize about their friends/family members and masterbate to them is kinda gross. Alot of of people would immediately get the ick from that.
Isn’t that emotional cheating?
OK. We all masturbate while thinking about our SO’s friends. All of us. The family thing is a bit weird, but not out of the realm of possibilities. What we don’t do is talk about it. My masturbatory fantasies are mine. I don’t tell people about them. The lesson here is an oldie but a goodie. Don’t ask questions if you’re not prepared to hear the answer. For me, at least, it’s about impressions, not feelings. Don’t read things into it that aren’t there.
I just asked my fiance, and he looked at me like I had three heads and said no, and I know if I asked him about the relative part, he would have probably threw up in his mouth a little. Lol. I also, wouldn’t do that. The only times I’ve ever masturbated to someone else or thought of someone else during sex was because I was severely dissatisfied with the sexual relationship or the relationship in general…. It was usually a sign that things weren’t going to work out… So…. I don’t know, this is weird. I feel like that’s disrespectful to your partner.
I honestly think men and women are equally dirty minded generally speaking, just that we are taught to share such stuff differently. A guy will admit to more to most people, women tend to share less with most, but even more than guys with those very close. And I don’t think it’s a biological thing, it’s a learned behaviour
Personally, I’d be hurt and disappointed if my SO admitted that to me. I get that everyone has sexual desires and fantasies but telling someone you supposedly love “hey honey btw I pleasure myself to your hot friends” is kinda fûcked up.
My wife loves it.
Woman here. I regularly fantasize about my husband’s close friends and even relatives. Maybe I’m in the minority. ETA: husband of 20 years knows about it and loves it. He loves to tease me about it.